


Big City Dreams

by alovelikelarrys



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-20 10:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alovelikelarrys/pseuds/alovelikelarrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis are two high school drama students with dreams of making it big. They take a trip with their class to New York to see the bright lights up close. Louis has been pining over Harry since the moment he laid eyes upon him, only problem is Harry is straight. But this trip could change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mr. Simpson’s junior drama class was going on a trip to New York City, to experience Broadway. Many of his students had aspirations to one day make it on the big screen or be stage actors. This trip was a way for them to experience it firsthand. The two students who were most excited about this trip were Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. Harry dreamed of moving to LA and becoming a big movie star with all of the riches and notoriety that came along with it. Louis, on the other hand, wanted to go to Broadway. He lived for the stage. He didn’t care if anyone knew his name; it was his passion.

Louis and Harry weren’t what you would call friends. They knew each other of course. Being in the same drama class for the past three years, it’s hard to not to interact with one another. The two boys just couldn’t be more different. Harry is the leading man type. He is tall with a long lean boy. His soft chocolate curls falling into his piercing green eyes, making all the girls swoon. He has a charmingly, boyish personality that draws everyone to him. Everything seems to come naturally to him, never having to struggle with what to say or how to act. Then there is Louis, with his shorter stature, curvy body, and bum to die for. He has golden brown hair styled in a quiff, the color only bringing out the bright blue of his eyes. Louis is openly gay and has been since sophomore year. Both boys and girls find him extremely attractive, but of course he sticks solely with the boys. He is quiet and reserved, almost shy, with those he doesn’t know well. Those he is closest to know his vivacious and fun personality well and are in love with every aspect of Louis. He is a hard not to love. But on the stage is where he really shines, where Louis truly comes to life.

♥

It was the morning that the class would be departing from London to fly to New York. Louis had been up before the sun. His excitement not letting him sleep. He had packed the car the night before, so he was now just running through everything in his mind making sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Jay, his mother, leaned against the doorway to his room. She took in the sight of her frazzled son pacing his room.

 “Boo, everything is packed and ready to go. You already went through it five times. Now stop pacing and eat something.” She smiled.

Louis just rolled his eyes and let out a breath of frustration as he pushed his way past her. He appreciated his mother’s concern; he just had a tendency to be a bit overdramatic. Jay laughed under her breath and followed him to the kitchen.

Louis grabbed a handful of almonds, pointedly looked at his mother, shoved them in his mouth and began chewing.

“Satisfied?” He questioned after swallowing.

“I suppose. Just promise me you’ll eat on the plane.” She conceded.

“Yes, mum.” He smiled.

Across town a somewhat different situation was unfolding. Anne, Harry’s mother, was currently standing in her son’s room with his alarm clock blaring. She was shaking him, trying to rouse him from sleep. He wasn’t even flinching; she sighed and began to shake him harder whilst yelling his name. After a few minutes, Harry groaned, swatted his mother’s arm away, and rolled onto his side.

“Harry Edward Styles! You wake up this instant! Do you want to miss the plane to New York?” Anne bellowed down at her son.

The mention of missing his flight is what finally got through his sleep riddled brain. Sitting up quickly, he flung his feet out of bed and stood up.

“Alright, alright. I’m up, mum. Calm down, okay? All my stuff is packed. I’ll be ready in a minute.” Harry stated as he walked off towards the bathroom.

Anne stared at her son in disbelief and muttered something under her breath that sounded quite like “that boy will be the death of me.”

“Well, I’ll be waiting in the car.” She called after him.

He raised a lazy hand in acknowledgement and closed the bathroom door behind him.

♥

Everyone who was going on the trip had made it to the airport on time. They were all gathered around the gate saying their goodbyes to their family members. Harry had given his mother a quick kiss on the cheek and “I love you,” before rushing off to meet up with his girlfriend, Layla. Louis was still standing with his mum, who was currently fixing the collar on his shirt looking adoringly down at her son.

“I’m going to miss you, Boo.” She told him.

“I know, mum. I’ll miss you too. Now please stop messing with my collar. People can see you.” He said while nervously glancing around.

“Nobody is watching sweetheart.” She informed as she let go of his collar.

Louis looked down at his shoes, a look of sadness unmistakable in his eyes.

“Did you want someone to be watching?” She asked.

He continued to stare at his shoes like they were the most fascinating things in the world.

“How about Harry Styles?”  She whispered.

Louis’ head shot up.

“Mum!” He shouted indignantly.

“What?” She said with a smirk.

“You know what! Don’t play dumb!” He huffed.

“Okay, okay. Now give your mum a hug before you leave.” She said opening her arms to him.

He stepped into his mother’s embrace and hugged her back. They exchanged “I love you’s” before he joined the other students.

 

As Louis waited to board the plane, someone bumped into him from behind. He was ready to whip around with a snarky remark when he saw who it was. His blue eyes locking onto green.

“Oh, sorry, mate.” Harry apologized.

“Um, s’alright.” Louis mumbled turning right back around.

Louis could feel his face begin to flush and his heart begin to race. He cursed his body for having such reactions from such a little interaction. Yes, he has had a crush on Harry since the day he laid eyes on him their first day of theater class freshman year, but that was hardly a reason to basically go into cardiac arrest from a little bump and an “I’m sorry.” He really was a drama queen. But no one could blame him really. Everyone was in love with Harry. Girls (and some boys) wanted to be with him and boys wanted to be him. In Louis’ eyes, he was perfection, gorgeous, talented, and sweet. Why did he have to be straight? Louis asked himself this question hundreds of times, and the only answer he came up with is that life isn’t fair.

And boy, it isn’t fair at all.

As they boarded the plane, the students began to find their assigned seats. Much to Louis’ horror, he was sat with Harry and Layla, _the girlfriend_.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry, being the gentleman his is, gave Layla the window seat taking the middle, leaving Louis with the aisle. Louis groaned inwardly at his luck and cursed the universe for screwing him over yet again. He woodenly moved to store his carryon in the overhead bin. Standing on his tiptoes to reach it, he lost balance and toppled over. Before he could fall, he felt a pair of hands on his hips steadying him.

“You okay?” Harry’s deep voice asked.

Louis stared down at the hands that were still holding onto him. They were so big and so warm. He was surely going to faint or have a heart attack from the contact. Realizing he still hadn’t responded to Harry, Louis looked up with his lower lip caught between his teeth, unable to speak. He quickly nodded his head in acknowledgement of the question, though he was far from okay with Harry’s gloriously large hands on his hips.

“Good.” Harry smiled at him and let go to return to his seat.

Turning around so his back was facing Harry and Layla, Louis took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he took his seat. His heart was still pounding and he was shaking slightly. He really needed to get his body in check; it was rather embarrassing. He slowly lowered himself into his seat making sure not to accidently bump Harry, thinking he wouldn’t be able to survive another touch.

♥

“Harry, I am so scared. What if we crash? I am too young to die.” Layla whined to Harry.

Harry wrapped a comforting arm around her and pulled her in close to his chest.

“Shh. It’s going to be fine. There are hundreds of flights a day, babe. Plane crashes are so rare. They check the planes so thoroughly. There is nothing to worry about. Plus, I’m here to keep you safe.” He assured her.

She nodded her head slightly before resting it on his chest. Harry placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head then relaxed back into his own seat, satisfied he had calmed her for now. He soon found himself lost in his thoughts.

Harry cared deeply for Layla; he did. It’s just sometimes he couldn’t help but feel that something was missing. It was that spark, that passion, the constant craving. He didn’t have that with her. When he thought about it, he had never had it. He was beginning to fear there was something wrong with him. Maybe he wasn’t passionate enough. No, that wasn’t it. He put his all into everything he did. He devoted himself to Layla, to their relationship. It was puzzling; he didn’t know what he was doing wrong. Sighing, he looked down at Layla who had fallen asleep shortly after takeoff. Wanting some space, he took one of the pillows the flight attendants had passed out, placed it against the window and gently moved her so she was leaning on it instead of him.

“A bit claustrophobic, yeah?”

Louis’ voice broke Harry from his thoughts. Pulling an earbud out, Louis looked curiously at Harry waiting for a response.

Harry looked over to Louis, who had his feet drawn up on the seat and was hugging his knees to his chest. He had never noticed how small Louis was before. It made him chuckle.

“What?” Louis asked with a slight waver to his voice, his cheeks reddening faintly.

“It’s nothing, really. You just, um, look really tiny.” Harry explained, hand gesturing to Louis’ folded up form.

“Oh.”

Louis’ mouth stayed in a perfect “o” shape even after he had finished saying the word itself. That was not what he was expecting Harry to say. He was mortified. Tiny? That was not a good adjective.

“No, no. That’s not a bad thing.” Harry explained, picking up on Louis’ obvious freak out. “It’s quite cute, actually.”

“I, um, yeah, alright.” Louis muttered, in total shock.

Harry continued to look at him with a smirk playing across his lips. It was funny how much of an effect he seemed to be having on Louis. The longer he stared at him the more he squirmed. He kind of liked the feeling it gave him, to know that he was causing this reaction.

“You okay, Lou?” Harry asked, when Louis let out a long, heavy sigh.

Louis leaned his head against the seat and let his eyes flutter shut.

“Yeah, I’m just antsy. Want to get off this plane. I hate being confined, you know?” He explained eyes still closed.

“I do. I really do.” Harry agreed looking down at Layla’s sleeping form.

♥

A few hours later, they had finally made it to New York. The excitement was palpable. Louis was practically jumping out of his skin. He couldn’t wait for the adventure to begin. Unfortunately, it would have to wait a little longer. Their first stop was the hotel they would be staying at to drop off their belongings and get somewhat situated. Then the adventure could begin.

Once at the hotel, the students gathered around Mr. Simpson in the lobby.

“Everyone, there will be two of you to a room. And I think it goes without saying that the boys with be together and the girls will be together.” Mr. Simpson explained.

Louis rolled his eyes at the last statement. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for him to room with a girl then? Whatever.

“Okay, so I just split you up by last name to pick who you’d be rooming with.” He continued.

Louis’ heart stopped beating that very second. He ran through everyone’s names. Styles and Tomlinson. He was almost 100% sure he would be rooming with Harry. In that moment, he didn’t know if he was ecstatic or terrified. Both. He was both. It meant spending more time with Harry, but it almost meant spending more personal time with Harry. As in waking up in the morning and walking out of the bathroom after taking a shower and undressing. He didn’t know if he could handle that.

He was so lost in thought he wasn’t aware Mr. Simpson had begun yelling out names.

“Lastly, Styles and Tomlinson.” Mr. Simpson called.

Louis couldn’t move. He watched Harry walk up to Mr. Simpson and grab what he presumed to be their room keys. All the while looking right at him with the same smirk he was giving Louis on the plane.

“Fuck.” Louis whispered to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry took the keys from Mr. Simpson and strolled up to Louis who was still frozen in his spot.

“Here ya go, Lou.” Harry said as he pressed a key into Louis’ stiff hand.

“Shall we go find our room then?” Harry mused staring down at the bewildered boy.

Louis nodded his head in acknowledgement and began to follow after Harry. He was yelling at himself to get a grip, to start acting like a normal person. Yes, he was going to be rooming with Harry for a week and a half. Yes, he was insanely attracted to Harry. Yes, Harry was straight. But so what, he could totally act his way through this. He had played harder roles.

Their room was the last one on the floor at the end of the hall.

“Of course we would be isolated from everyone else.” Louis thought to himself.

Harry quickly unlocked the door and swung it open to reveal the room they would be sharing for the next 10 days. It was basic, two double beds, a dresser, TV, and a bathroom in the corner. The room was on the small side so the beds were closer to each other than Louis was comfortable with, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Harry ran in and did a belly flop onto the nearest bed.

“I guess you’ve chosen your spot then, yeah?” Louis stated walking to the bed by the window.

“Oh, is that ok mate? I kind of just got carried away.” Harry laughed.

“Yeah, it’s fine Harry. It really doesn’t matter.” Louis smiled.

“Oh thank god. I thought you were going to go all drama queen on me there for a second.” Harry smirked.

Louis gasped in fake offense.

“Me? A drama queen? How very dare you!” Louis declared as he threw a pillow down at Harry.

Harry aptly caught the pillow before it hit him.

“You did not just do that.” He yelled as he slammed it to the bed beside him.

He shot off the bed and towards Louis, tackling him to the bed before the boy had a chance to react. Harry crawled on top of Louis, pinning him down with his legs and began to mercilessly tickle him.

“Stop. Stop.” Louis laughed as he wiggled beneath Harry trying to free himself.

“Not until you say sorry!” Harry bellowed as he continued to relentlessly tickle Louis.

“I, I am soooory!!” Louis yelled as tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.

“That works.” Harry chuckled as he rolled off Louis onto the bed next to him.

They both took a minute to steady their breathing after laughing so hard, laying in silence next to each other. Louis suddenly became overwhelmingly aware of how close he was to Harry. How their thighs were pressed up against each other and how the sides of their hands were grazing one another. A coil of heat began to build deep within his stomach and his trousers began to tighten. Louis panicked. Harry could not see him like this, could not see that he turned him on.

Without a word Louis jumped off the bed, ran to the bathroom, and slammed the door behind him.

“You alright, Lou?” Harry called after him.

Louis rested his head against the door and closed his eyes. With a groan, he turned around and sunk to the floor.

“Fuck. This is going to be harder than I thought.” He muttered to himself and began to laugh as he looked down at his tented trousers.

♥

That night they were seeing their first Broadway play: Wicked. Louis was dying. It was one of his favorite musicals, if not his favorite. Defying Gravity was his song, his life. He wasn’t going to let anyone bring him down, or well, at least he was going to try.

They were sat in the first two rows. Louis thanked the universe for this. He happened to be in the second row right behind Harry and Layla. Though Harry was tall, he still had a great view of the stage. He just prayed to whatever god or goddess was listening that Layla kept her mouth shut and didn’t talk through the show. He wasn’t above smacking her. He would do it, for Wicked he would.

It was the apex of Act I, Defying Gravity. Harry had to admit he was way more into this show than he thought he would be. And this song was kind of amazing. It was giving him chills, not that he would admit that to anyone.

Harry was totally engrossed in what was unfolding in front of him, until he heard sniffling from behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see Louis captivated by the play with a stream of tears rolling down his face. Harry had never seen someone so moved before, so touched. It was beautiful. He couldn’t stop watching Louis, and Louis was too far gone to notice. He didn’t turn back around until the song was finished and the house lights lifted.

♥

Back in their room that night, both the boys laid in their beds sleep escaping them. Louis rolled over with a sigh, frustrated he wouldn’t be getting enough sleep before their first full day tomorrow.

“Hey, Lou?” Harry whispered, rolling over to face Louis.

“What is it, Harry?” Louis asked annoyance audible in his voice.

“Oh sorry, mate. Did I wake you?” Harry said voice small.

“No, no. You didn’t. Can’t sleep.” He explained.

“What did you want, Harry?” Louis asked again, turning to look at him.

Harry took a deep breath.

“Well, I was just thinking, you know. Uh, how did you know you were gay?” he asked quickly.

Louis was taken aback by Harry’s question. Where had that come from? He was sure there was no alternate meaning behind it other than he was curious. Surely. But why would he want to know?

“I, uh, I suppose I always knew. Like the idea of kissing a girl or seeing a girl naked, um, kind of freaked me out. But the thought of kissing a boy or seeing a boy naked, well, let’s just say it didn’t freak me out.” Louis giggled.

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the sound of Louis giggling. It was just so cute, so gleeful and high pitched.

“Have you ever kissed a girl though?” Harry questioned.

“Yes. I suppose I had to be sure I was gay. Try it out, yeah?” Louis answered shyly.

“And you’ve kissed boys then I’m assuming?” Harry mused.

“Yes, and then some.” Louis laughed.

“Oh, really? You little slut!” Harry joked.

“Oh, shut it! Like you haven’t slept with most the girls in drama!” Louis countered.

“Actually, Lou, I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not as big of a manwhore you make me out to be.” Harry chuckled.

“Really?” Louis asked somewhat shocked.

“Yes, really. I’ve only been with Layla and my girlfriend before her.” Harry informed.

“Well, I apologize for my misconceived notions of you, then.” Louis said sincerely.

“S’alright. You’re not the only one who thinks it. Don’t really know what it is about me that makes people think it though.” Harry said, propping his head up on his hand looking over at Louis.

“It’s probably because you’re so attractive and all the girls want you.” Louis told him.

“I’m attractive, eh?” He asked a smile clear in his voice.

“Yes! And you know it.” Louis huffed.

“Thanks. You’re not bad yourself, Lou.” Harry told him.

“Oh, wow. What a compliment.” Louis scoffed.

He may have outwardly scoffed, but inwardly he was screaming. He was screaming about this entire conversation. It probably meant nothing to Harry, but to Louis it was everything. It made him like Harry even more. He was thoughtful, sensitive, and endearing as hell. And on top of it all, Harry had basically said he was attractive. He just couldn’t handle it.

“So Lou.” Harry whispered.

“Yes, Harry.”

“Did it feel different when you kissed a, um, guy then it did it with a girl?” he asked quietly.

“Yes. I mean it felt good when I kissed her, but when I kissed a boy for the first time there was just this spark, this passion that I hadn’t felt with her. That’s how I knew without a doubt I was gay. That spark.” Louis explained.

“Oh, right. Well, ‘night, then.” Harry said rolling away from Louis.

Louis had no idea how much his story had effected Harry, because the entire time he couldn’t help but to think back to his thoughts on the plane. His thoughts about his relationship with Layla and how it felt like something was missing.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Louis was up at dawn, excited for the day to begin. He tiptoed over to the window, pushed the curtain back slightly, and took a peek at the city below. It was lightly snowing. The already bustling streets covered in a layer of white. Louis watched as people hailed taxies, walked along the sidewalk, and darted into buildings. He couldn’t wait to get out there and experience it himself.

“See anything interesting?” Harry asked voice raspy from sleep.

His voice caught Louis off guard causing him to swing around in shock. He found Harry propped up on his side watching him intently.

“Uh, no. Did I wake you?” He answered pulling his blanket from the bed to cover himself.

It wasn’t that Louis was ashamed of his body. He just wasn’t comfortable having Harry Styles see him in just his boxers especially with how he was currently looking at him. It was like Harry was staring at him, studying him. It made him shudder.

“No. You ok?” Harry inquired when he noticed the boy tremble.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, just cold. I, uh, I am just going to get ready. S’alright if I use the loo first?” Louis asked nervously.

“Of course. It takes me all of two minutes to get ready.” Harry smirked.

“Right.” Louis responded numbly as he fumbled his way to the bathroom grabbing his toiletries and clothes along the way.

Harry stared after him even once the door was closed. He couldn’t understand why he made Louis so nervous, why he became such a babbling mess when he looked at him. But as Harry had thought on the plane, he liked it. He liked making Louis squirm. It caused a rush to come over him, something he had never felt before, something he wanted more of. So even with as wrong as it sounded, he was determined to get under Louis’ skin, to chase that high.

Louis found himself once again sitting against the bathroom door. He felt like smacking his head on it, but he knew that would only draw Harry’s attention. And that was the last thing he needed. Why did Harry have to look at him like that? Of course he didn’t know what it did to Louis, didn’t know that it caused his heart to flutter, his knees to go weak. He had no idea how much Louis wanted him, how badly he wanted to kiss him, to touch him, to know him.

With a sigh, Louis lifted himself from the floor and proceeded to get ready for the day, turning his thoughts from Harry to the city that waited below.

♥

The students began to assemble in the lobby. Everyone was bundled up for the snowy weather, heavy coats, boots, and woolen caps. Different groups huddles together, chatting excitedly about the day.

“What are you wearing, Layla?” Harry asked loudly.

Students and hotel guests turned towards Harry at his outburst. He was looking down at his girlfriend’s feet in totally disbelief.

“What? I’m wearing boots.” Layla said with a tone of annoyance.

“Those are not boots, Layla. Those are high heels!” Harry shouted.

“Ok. Boots with heels. What’s the big deal?” She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

“Do you not realize that it is snowing out there? You are going to break your neck!” Harry explained trying to calm him.

“No I won’t. I can walk just fine in these. See.” She said as she stormed off towards a group of her friends.

Harry just shook his head as she walked away. Layla could be so stubborn and so stupid sometimes. It frustrated him beyond belief, but she wouldn’t listen to him even when it was in her best interest.

“Best not to mess with a lady’s fashion. They can be quite touchy about it.” Louis laughed as he walked up to Harry’s side.

With a laugh that was far from humorous, Harry turned to Louis.

“She can be so daft sometimes. I honestly can’t stand it. Can’t she see that I am only looking out for her?” Harry asked him.

“I suppose not all girls want to be rescued. They’re not all the damsels in distress types.” Louis mused as he watched Layla.

She was currently walking the lobby like it was a catwalk, her eyes on Harry. She was no doubt trying to prove to him she could walk just fine in her heels. Louis had never really liked Layla. He had always thought she was fake, two faced, insincere. Plus, she was an awful actress. He hated playing opposite her in plays. He couldn’t help to think Harry deserved better. Just as she was making an overly dramatic turn on her faux catwalk, her right foot caught on the carpet causing her to fall, twisting her ankle on the way down.

“Damn it!” Harry mutter under his breath and ran off to her.

♥

A half hour later the class was still sat in the lobby. Mr. Simpson had taken Layla to the hotel’s medic, Harry by her side. Everyone was quite annoyed with the whole situation, with having to sit in the lobby instead of out having their big New York Adventure. Therefore, the inevitable happened, people started to bad mouth Layla, even her closest friends. The words “brainless,” “daft,” and “self-absorbed” could be heard amongst the different conversations. Louis chose not to join in any of them, though there was plenty he could have added. He just wasn’t one for gossip.

About ten minutes later, Mr. Simpson walked up to the group with Harry in his wake.

“Everyone listen up. Layla has sprained her ankle which means she won’t be able to walk on it for a few days. She is going to be with the medics today while we go out. Now get your things ready we’ll be leaving in 5 minutes. First stop, Central Park!” Mr. Simpson announced.

The class cheered, excited to finally be getting out of the hotel and into the city.

Louis walked up to visibly upset Harry.

“You alright, Harry?” Louis asked voice soft.

“Uh, I will be. Layla gave me hell. Blamed it on me.” Harry explained.

“What?”

“Yeah, said if I hadn’t of made a deal of her shoes she wouldn’t have tried to show off. Then she tried to get me to stay with her. But I’m not going to miss out on this trip because of her, you know?” Harry told him.

“Of course. It’s not your fault at all, mate. Don’t let this ruin your day, yeah?” Louis said trying to sound comforting.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Harry said wrapping an arm around Louis’ shoulder giving it a quick squeeze before letting go.

“I, uh, no problem. Yeah, anytime.” Louis said frazzled from the contact.

♥

Central Park. They were finally here. And it was beautiful. Everything they dreamed of and more. A light layer of snow covered the trees making it look like a winter wonderland. It was magical. Mr. Simpson had given the students the option to pick what activities they wanted to do while in the park. There were carriage rides, outdoor plays, ice skating, and more. Many of the students opted to walk around and just take in the scenery.

“Hey, Lou!” Harry called out.

Louis turned around to see a pink cheeked Harry smiling at him.

“Yeah?” Louis asked.

“Do you wanna go ice skating with me?” No one else wants to and I rather no go by myself.” Harry explained.

“Sounds great.” Louis smiled.

The two boys ran off the outdoor rink. They were surprised to see it was empty, save a father teaching his daughter how to skate.

“We practically have it to ourselves.” Harry said has he laced up his skates.

Harry got his skates on first on rushed onto the ice. Once Louis finished getting his on, he gingerly made his way over to the rink. He hesitantly put his left foot out getting his bearings. Harry, on the other side on the rink already, noticed Louis’ slowed movements and skated up to him. Louis placed his right foot onto the ice and began to wobble. He went to reach for the side wall, but before he could he felt Harry’s hands grip his hips from behind to steady him.

“Have you never skated before, Lou?” Harry asked.

“I did a few times when I was younger, but I have obviously forgotten.” Louis laughed his face flushed from the feeling of Harry’s hands on him.

“Something Louis Tomlinson isn’t good at. How about that?” Harry joked.

“Oh stop! I am not that great.” Louis scoffed.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Lou.” Harry whispered into his ear.

Louis’s breath caught in his chest. Goosebumps spread from his ear, where Harry’s breath had hit him, down his neck. It made him shiver.

“You cold?” Harry asked.

Louis just shook his head, not trusting his voice. They were just standing there on ice, Harry behind Louis, his hands still firmly gripping Louis’ hips. Harry began to slowly skate forward, pushing Louis with him. Louis, being so caught up with the feeling of Harry touching him, didn’t realize they were moving. When he did, he started to try to skate with Harry, causing his skates to collide with Harry’s.

They fell. Louis landed atop of Harry, with Harry’s hands still holding onto him. Laughing, Louis rolled off Harry and lay on the ice next to him.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” He said between laughs.

Harry rolled on his side to look at him, a smile in his eyes. Louis had ice all in his hair from the fall. Harry reached his hand out to remove a large chunk, stopping to brush the hair that fallen into Louis’ eyes aside. Overwhelmed by Harry’s actions, Louis bit his lip and stared back at him.

“I never noticed how blue your eyes are. They are beautiful. You are quite beautiful.” Harry breathed, running his thumb along Louis’ cheek down to his jaw stopping just below his lip.

“Harry, I..” Louis started.

But he was cut off when the father who was there with his daughter skated up to them.

“You boys alright? That looked like a nasty fall you took.” He asked.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was a blur for Louis and Harry. Layla was still holed up in the medic with her sprained ankle, so Harry spent his time with Louis. It was the day they would be “exploring the city” as Mr. Simpson had said. They visited everywhere from China Town to the Upper East Side to SoHo. Souvenirs were purchased and new cuisines were tasted. Harry particularly enjoyed the huge slice of pizza he got at a hole in the wall restaurant in Time’s Square. Louis, on the other hand, was obsessed with New York cheesecake, buying it three times that day. Harry couldn’t help but tease him.

“You might want to watch it with the cheesecake, Lou. Don’t want to get fat, yeah?” Harry had joked.

“Well, if I do, it’s worth it and let’s just hope it all just goes to my arse.” Louis replied with a wink and a tap to already curvaceous bum.

Harry swallowed thickly as his eyes settled to were Louis’ hand was placed on his bum. He did have quite the spectacular arse, better than most girls, Harry thought. 

♥

Cabaret was the play they were going to be seeing that night. Louis was visibly excited as he got ready. There was a definite spring in his step. He was softly singing “life is a cabaret” to himself as he moved through his suitcase trying to pick the perfect ensemble for the night.

Harry had been set for the past ten minutes because it really does take him two minutes to get ready. He was currently lying on his bed with a book in his hand that he intended to read. But the book had been long forgotten once he began to watch Louis practically dance around the room as he got dressed. He found the boy’s movements captivating. It was as though he glided across the room, his feet not truly touching the floor. The sun was setting, and its rays were filtering through the window. The light kissed Louis’ perfectly tan skin and illuminated him making him look angelic. 

“Louis.” Harry whispered.

Though Harry had whispered his name, Louis had heard him and turned to look at him. He raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement.

Harry was taken aback by Louis’ eyes. The light hit them so they shined such a brilliant blue. It took Harry’s breath away.

“Yes, Harry?” Louis asked when Harry didn’t say anything.

Harry just looked at him for another minute. It looked as though he was thinking over what he was going to say. It almost looked like there was a battle going on inside him, his eyebrows crinkled up in thought and his bottom lip worried between his teeth. After another minute, he shook his head, almost signaling one side of his thoughts had beat the other.

“Uh, I was just wondering what this show was about.” Harry finally said.

“Oh, well, it’s a musical set in Nazi Germany…”

Louis was excitedly telling Harry all about the musical, and on the outside it looked as though he was paying attention, nodding his head along. But inside was a different story. Inside, Harry felt a total mess. He didn’t understand these feelings and thoughts he was having towards Louis. He was the one that made Louis squirm, not the other way around. But Louis was making him squirm, causing his breath to catch in his chest, making his mind run wild. Harry found Louis so fascinating, everything from his laugh to the way his hair fell in his eyes. He just wanted to know more. This scared Harry. He had never felt anything this intense before, let alone for another guy.

“Harry. You alright there, Harry.” Louis questioned when he noticed Harry deep in thought no longer listening to him.

“I, uh, yeah. I just need some air.” Harry muttered as he got up and walked quickly out of the room.

Louis’ eyes trailed after Harry. He shrugged to himself once the boy was gone.

“That was odd.”

♥

The next day the boys awoke to one of the worst storms the east coast had seen in over ten years. The snow fall over night had left about four feet of snow on the ground. And the city was currently without any power, the storm having knocked out power lines feeding the city.

Mr. Simpson had gathered the students for a group meeting.

“I think it goes without saying we won’t be leaving the hotel today, seeing we are essentially buried by snow and there is no power. Therefore, try to keep yourselves busy. The front desk said they had some games, cards and such, if you are interested. My only rule is that you are with at least one other classmate at all times. I will be in room if you need anything. Just please try to behave.” He announced before walking off to his own room.

The students began to disperse into little groups heading to different rooms. Harry and Louis headed back to their room.

“Well, this is bullocks.” Louis sighed as he lay back down on his bed.

Laughing, Harry stood at the end of Louis’ bed looking down at him.

“And what do you find so funny?” Louis asked irritation clear in his voice.

“I have something that might make this day a little more enjoyable. I don’t know if you would be game though.” Harry smiled.

“Tell me.” Louis said with an eyebrow cocked.

Flashing a quick smile at Louis, Harry rushed over to the side of his bed and dropped to his knees. He bent over and reached his long arms under the bed to retrieve whatever it was he was talking about. His position giving Louis a great look at his arse, and it was delectable. Louis forced himself to look away else he’d find himself in a particularly hard situation.

Harry sat back up with a brown paper bag in each hand. It was obvious the bags had bottles in them, liquor bottles. Louis sat up and clapped his hands together.

“Where did you get those?” He asked excitedly.

“I have my sources.” Harry explained with a smirk.

Louis just rolled his eyes.

“So I’m guessing that means you’re game?” Harry questioned.

“Fuck yes I am!” Louis laughed.

“Language, young man.” Harry mockingly reprimanded.

“Oh fuck off, you tosser!” Louis joked.

Sitting on his bed, Harry handed a bottle to Louis and kept one for himself. The boys wasted no time and began to drink straight from the bottle, not bothering with cups. After a few long draughts, the two found themselves pleasantly buzzed and on their way to completely sauced.

“Hey, uh, Harry, can I ask you something personal?” Louis asked.

“Go for it, Lou.” Harry said with a crooked smile.

“What is it like, um, having sex with a girl? Like, you know, I kissed one, but I’ve only slept with guys. I just was wondering if was different. Does that make sense?” Louis explained with a giggle.

“It does. I don’t really know how to explain it. It feels good. But, honestly, sex isn’t as amazing as everyone makes it out to be. At least to me, anyways.” Harry told him.

“Really?” Louis asked clearly shocked.

“Yeah. Is it amazing for you too?”

“Oh god yeah! It’s ‘I think I might die this feels so good” amazing. Like toe curling, heart stopping, breathtaking amazing!” Louis said with his eyes closed hips slightly grinding into his mattress.

Harry’s eyes were fixed onto Louis, on the way his face looked blissed with pleasure, on the way his body was moving. It was too much.

“That good, yeah?” Harry asked thickly.

“Yes! You really never experienced that kind of sex? What’s it like with you and Layla, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I, uh, well, I definitely have the desire and want to have sex. Don’t get me wrong. It’s like when I’m with her I’m not really into it. If that makes sense.” Harry confessed.

Louis just nodded his head.

They continued to drink in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Louis felt his body getting heavy but he liked the feeling. He started to slowly sway back and forth to a song in his head, letting his eyes flutter shut.

Harry was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Louis begin to rock across from him. He was suddenly overcome with the most intense feeling of desire. He wanted Louis; he needed Louis. Before he could really realize what he was doing, Harry leapt from his bed and knelt in front of the boy. His grabbed Louis’ head between his hands and brought their lips together.

Feeling Harry’s lips upon his, Louis’ eye shot open and he shoved Harry off him with a hard push to his chest.

“What the fuck, Harry? Why would you fuck with me like that?” Louis yelled before he ran out of the room slamming the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry stared at the door in shock. That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. He stiffly rose from his knees and dropped onto his bed. With a sigh, he ran a shaky hand across his face. What had he expected to happen? To kiss Louis, and for Louis to kiss him back. Did he really want to kiss Louis? Harry’s hand stopped at his mouth. Lightly tracing a finger along his bottom lip, he could still feel Louis there, even though the contact had been fleeting. His heart began to race at the memory. Yes. Yes, Harry wanted to kiss Louis. He wanted it more than anything.

♥

Louis found himself in the stairway. His only direction was up. He just needed to get away, away from the room, away from Harry. With a heavy sigh, he stopped walking and sat down on the step he had stopped on. He was so confused. What had just happened? Obviously, Harry had kissed him. But why? Harry was straight and currently in a relationship with a girl. And the last time Louis checked, he was in fact a man. So why had Harry kissed him? Was it a joke? Louis wouldn’t be anyone’s joke. Even Harry’s.

Louis knew the only solution was to actually talk to Harry. Find out from the source what was going on. With great hesitation, Louis pushed himself up and started his way back down to their room, hoping Harry would still be there.

♥

Once outside their door, Louis almost felt like he should to knock, to let Harry know he was coming in. He shook his head, deciding the sound of the door unlocking would be enough of a warning.

Louis found Harry on his bed with a pillow coving his face and a long arm draped over it.

“Uh, Harry?” He asked quietly not sure if Harry was asleep. He had been gone for about an hour.

Hearing Louis’ voice, Harry sat up quickly throwing the pillow to the floor. His eyes were red and glossy, like he had been crying.

“Lou, I am so glad you came back.” Harry said with a little smile.

“You alright, Harry?” Louis questioned as he sat down next to the boy.

“I am now. Lou, we need to talk.”

Louis nodded.

“About what happened before, um, me kissing you. You need to know it wasn’t a joke.” Harry explained.

“What was it then?” He asked.

Harry took a deep breath. With a small smile, he lifted a hand and placed it on Louis’ cheek. He slowly ran his thumb below the boy’s bottom lip as he leaned forward. Harry softly met his lips to Louis’, letting them melt together. Too soon, he pulled away and looked into Louis’ eyes.

“I don’t know what it is. What I do know, is that I want you, Louis. And it scares me, but I don’t want to fight it.” Harry whispered.

“You want me?” Louis asked in disbelief.

Harry nodded, biting his lip.

“Well, Harry Styles, I have wanted you since the second I saw you.” Louis laughed.

“Then have me.” Harry told him lust lacing his words.

Louis didn’t hesitate. He crawled onto Harry’s lap, straddling him. Taking Harry’s head in his hands, he dipped his head and brought their lips together. The kiss was slow at first, sweet almost. But soon it became passionate. Louis ran his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip, asking for entrance. Once he was granted access, Louis sucked Harry’s lip into his mouth, nibbling on it softly. Harry moaned into Louis’ mouth. He could feel Louis smile.

Harry pulled away. He was currently leaning back on his hands. He looked up into Louis’ lust blown eyes.

“I want to touch you, Lou.” Harry whispered.

Louis leaned over so his mouth was ghosting Harry’s ear. His warm breath causing goose bumps to rise on Harry’s skin.

“Touch me, Harry.” Louis murmured into his ear.

Louis attached his lips to Harry’s neck, licking and kissing the sensitive skin. Letting his hands drop slowly to Louis’ ass, Harry let out a heady moan when he cupped the firm cheeks in his hands as Louis bit into his skin. Louis began to slowly grind his hips down against Harry’s, seeking friction. Feeling that Harry was also hard beneath him, he quickened his pace and reattached their lips. He hungrily explored Harry’s mouth with his tongue, wanting to learn every dip, every crevice. He just wanted Harry.

And Harry wanted Louis. He ran his hands up the boy’s back, gathering his shirt as he went. They only stopped kissing long enough for Louis’ shirt to be pulled over his head. Once that barrier was removed, Harry dove in. He attacked Louis’ collarbones, sucking dark marks into them that would surely last for days. It drove Louis mad. He couldn’t help the moans that escaped his lips.

“Fuck. I want you so bad.” Louis said lustfully.

He ripped Harry’s shirt off and forcefully pushed the boy onto his back. Louis began to trail kisses down Harry’s long torso, stopping at each nipple. He sucked on each one, teasingly nibbling on the sensitive flesh. Harry was a mess beneath him, his back arching of the mattress seeking Louis’ touch. His moans were becoming louder, more desperate. Louis moved down his chest and kissed along Harry’s prominent v-line, stopping every few inches to leave a love bite.

Louis sat back on his heels and reached down to slowly undo Harry’s belt.

“God, you are so hot, Lou. I have never been this turned on.” Harry breathed looking down at the bulge in his pants.

“And I have never wanted anyone more than I want you right now.” Louis told him as he finished unzipping his jeans.

Louis slowly pulled Harry’s pants down, leaving the boy in just his boxers. He spread Harry’s legs slightly and began to kiss up his inner thigh. He kissed up the fabric over to his hips passing where Harry ached to be touched most.

“Louis, please.” Harry begged.

No longer wanting to tease Harry, Louis reached his hands up and curled his fingers under the band of the boxers.

Both boys jumped when there was a loud knock at the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Louis looked up at Harry eyes wide, as Harry looked down at him mouth agape. Neither one wanted to move. Hoping whoever it was at the door would leave and they could continue on.

There was another loud knock.

“Harry!” A girl’s voice yelled out.

More knocks followed.

“Harry! I know you’re in there! Open up!” The girl yelled again.

Harry and Louis continued to stare at each other.

“Better go see what she wants. It doesn’t sound like she’s leaving anytime soon.” Louis told him, disappointment clear in his voice.

“Fuck.” Harry said under his breath as Louis rolled off of him and stood up.

Harry hurriedly pulled his pants and shirt back on. Not wanting to be seen by whoever it was demanding Harry’s attention, Louis darted into the bathroom leaving the door open just a crack.

Clearing his throat, Harry walked up to the door. He opened it to find Layla’s friend, Jessa, with her hand raised, preparing to knock again.

“What, Jessa? What is so bloody important you had to wake me?” Harry inquired bitter annoyance dripping from his words.

Jessa took a step back clearly afraid of Harry.

“I, uh, well, Layla is asking for you. Won’t shut up really. Can you please go see her?” Jessa stammered mostly looking at the floor, too intimidated to look at Harry.

“Uh, I suppose I should. Haven’t really spent any time with her, have I?” He responded running a hand through his curls.

Jessa quickly nodded her head before running off. Harry closed the door. He found Louis sitting on the edge of his bed looking rather down.

“I..” Harry started.

“You are going to see Layla. I heard. S’okay. She’s your girlfriend after all.” Louis said numbly.

He looked up at Harry, eyes glossy, and gave him a weak smile. Seeing the pain in his eyes, Harry’s heart stopped and his stomach clenched. He didn’t want to cause Louis pain. Harry ran to him and dropped to his knees in front of the boy. He took Louis’ cheek in his hand and ran his thumb along his jawline.

“Please don’t be upset, Lou. I don’t know what this is between us. Honestly, it scares me to death. But I don’t want it to stop because I have never felt this way before.” Harry told him with a soft kiss.

“I do have to go see her though. I haven’t this entire trip. It’s only right.” He explained.

“I understand.” Louis whispered tears threatening to fall.

Harry got up and walked to the door. Before he left, he turned back to look at Louis.

“I will be back. I promise.”

♥

Harry took a deep breath before he went into Layla’s room. She was lying on her bed, foot propped up with numerous pillows and an ice pack sitting atop her ankle. Hearing Harry enter the room, she looked up at him with a look of deep hurt in her eyes. But to those who knew her, Harry included in that group, would know that it was an act, something she did to get what she wanted. And what she wanted was for Harry to feel bad.

Harry knew he _should_ feel bad for basically forgetting about his girlfriend, but truthfully he didn’t. He had been having an amazing time without her. The time of his life in fact. But he knew it would be easier if he just played along with her game.

“Hey, babe.” He cooed sitting down next to her.

“I’m your babe now? After ignoring me for three days while I’ve been seriously injured.” Layla scoffed turning her head away from him.

Harry inwardly rolled his eyes. A sprained ankle, yes, that is a very serious injury.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” He said nudging his forehead against hers successfully making her giggle.

Her flat and dull laughter made his heart ache. He instantly missed Louis.

“What are you going to do to make it up to me?” She asked biting her lip and running her hand down his chest.

Harry gulped as he watched her hand run down his body. It just felt wrong. Her hand was too small, too light.

“Wh-what do you want?” He questioned nervously.

Layla moved to his lap and ran her fingers through his hair tugging the locks roughly so he was looking up at her.

“I want you, silly.” She smirked.

Harry had opened his mouth to protest, but Layla silenced him with a hard kiss, smashing her lips to his. He couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong she felt, from her lips being too plump to her long hair falling into his face to her soft body rubbing against his.

Soft moans began to fall from her lips as she rolled her hips against Harry’s, but Harry remained motionless below her.  She grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head letting her nails scratch up his sides as she went. Just as she pushed him on his back and was about to kiss his chest, she stopped and jumped of the bed.

“What the fuck?” She screamed.

“What?” Harry asked sitting up.

“Those. Who the fuck gave you those?” She demanded pointing to the love bites Louis had left along his v-line.

“Shit.” Harry breathed when his eyes saw what Layla was pointing at.

“So that’s why you’ve been ignoring me? You’ve been cheating on me with some skank.” She cried.

“It’s not like that, Layla. It kind of just happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.” He told her sincerely pulling his shirt back on.

“You’re sorry? You’ve got to be kidding me. Just get out Harry. We are over. Just go.” She said pointing to the door.

He thought there was point arguing because honestly he didn’t want to stay, didn’t want to fight for their relationship. So without looking back, he left.

♥

Louis was lying on his stomach crying into his pillow, trying to muffle the sound of his sobs. He cursed himself for letting Harry in, for letting Harry kiss him. Of course Harry didn’t really want him, he was straight after all. Louis was just an experiment, something to get out of his system. He should have known he’d go back to his girlfriend.

But Louis wanted Harry. Yes, he had wanted him before they kissed, but it was just an idea then. Now it was a possibility. He knew how good it could be, how amazing it could feel. To Louis there was so much chemistry between them, so much heat. He had never experienced that much of a connection with someone so quickly. He was in too deep now. Louis was falling for Harry, falling hard.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Point of view chapter

_**Harry** _

Layla’s door shut behind me officially ending our relationship. If I was really honest with myself, it was inevitable. We weren’t going to last, so it might as well of happened now.  I slowly walked down the hallway and towards the stairs, finding myself in the hotel’s lobby. It was empty except for the clerk at the counter. I did have every intention of going back to my room, going back to Louis. But I just couldn’t.

I walked towards the large fireplace and found a comfy chair in front of the fire. Hugging my knees to my chest, I closed my eyes and thought. Thought of Louis.

These feelings I had for him were too strong, too intense, too new. It scared me. I had never felt this way for anyone, let alone a guy. Does that mean I am gay? By how badly I wanted him, wanted to kiss him, wanted to touch him, I would say I am by all means attracted to him. It’s more than that though, more than a physical attraction, I think I like him. I am fascinated by him, the way he laughs, the way he moves. I just want to know him, know everything about him. That moment before I left to see Layla when he looked so absolutely crushed, I swear it almost broke my heart.

What if I was, in fact, gay, came out, and dated a guy, dated Louis? What would happen?

Oh, god. What would my family think? My father would be devastated. His boy, a pansy. I can almost hear him now, hear the disappointment. I could just see him walking away from me, his head hung low. My mom would hug me and tell me she loved me no matter what, but I know she would heartbroken. The life she had imagined for me gone in an instant, the wife, the kids…gone.

 And what about the kids at school? Heartthrob Harry Styles is really a homo. The snickering as I walk down the hall. The taunting, the teasing.  I thought of those assholes who are always throwing the “weird” kids around, making their lives a living hell. Would that happen to me?

What about my career? Gay men aren’t the leads in big Hollywood movies. Are they?

I felt sick. Setting my feet on the floor, I ran my hands over my face and roughly through my hair. I shook my head over and over to myself.

“Fuck.” I muttered.

I can’t do it. No matter how I feel. I just can’t do it.

 

_**Louis** _

I don’t know how long I laid awake in the dark waiting for Harry to come back.  An hour, two, five. Honestly, I don’t know. I knew he wouldn’t come back. That I was a onetime experimentation no matter what he told me to get me to play along. But part of me was hoping I was wrong. That he would keep his promise, that what he said was true, and he would walk through our door and kiss me so hard it took my breath away. But that was the part of me that got me into trouble, the part that let me fall for Harry in the first place. Eventually, I drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next morning, I woke to an empty room. I felt numb. I blindly got up and dressed for the day, hardly putting an effort into my appearance. What was the point anymore?

 

_**Harry** _

I waited in the lobby for Mr. Simpson and all the other students to filter in to find out what we had in store for the day. Not that I was very excited for the day to begin or for the rest of the trip, for the matter. I wish we could go home already. It was going to be hard to be around Louis, to see that caramel hair and not run my fingers through it. To see those blue eyes and not stare into them. To see his lips and not kiss them. It was going to be torturous.

I had snuck back into the room around 3am, while it was still dark. Louis was fast asleep, soft deep breaths falling from his parted lips. I quickly changed and washed up. Before I left, I walked up to Louis’ side looking down at his sleeping form. I drank in the sight of him, savoring it one last time. Unable to stop myself, I reached my hand out and rested it on his soft cheek, slowing running my thumb along his jaw.  He let about a content sigh and leaned into my touch. Feeling tears prickle my eyes, I leaned down and whispered softly in his ear, “I’m sorry.” Forcing myself to pull away, I kissed his hair softly and left, saying good bye to everything that could have been.

♥

Everyone was in the lobby ready to go, everyone except Louis. I was shocked he wasn’t one of the first people in the lobby, excited for the day to start. We waited about five more minutes before Mr. Simpson turned to me.

“Harry, why don’t you go check on Louis, yeah?”  He suggested.

My stomach dropped. I really didn’t want to face Louis alone, but I was starting worry that he hadn’t shown yet.

“No bother. I’m here.” Louis said weakly as he walked into the lobby.

I was shocked when I saw him. It wasn’t just that he looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes; it was how he was dressed. Louis, who was always manicured to perfection, was wearing sweat pants and a hoodie with a beanie covering his tousled hair. He hadn’t even bothered to put his contacts in. His thick rimmed glasses framed his bloodshot eyes.

I wasn’t the only one who was concerned with Louis’ appearance; a few of the girls from our class ran up to him and asked if he was ok. He merely nodded his head and glanced in my direction. I quickly looked away, unable to meet his gaze, the guilt already eating away at me. I so badly wanted to run up to him and comfort him. Instead, like a coward, I walked to the chair from the previous night and sat down facing away from him.

 

_**Louis** _

I couldn’t put it off any longer I had to go down there. I had to face Harry. Sighing, I left the room and met the class in the lobby. I didn’t realize how late I was until I heard Mr. Simpson tell Harry to go check on me, the look of horror unmistakable in his eyes. It was like he would rather do anything else than see me. It hurt, that look in his eyes stung like a slap in the face. I wanted him to want me, but all he had was regret.

“No bother. I’m here.” I choked out.

I must have looked like complete shit because three of my girlfriends ran up to me and started to fawn over me and make sure I was ok.  Knowing my voice would give me away, I just nodded my head. I dared to glance at Harry. He was looking at me with wide eyes but quickly turned away to sit in a chair by the fire place. He couldn’t even stand to make eye contact. I felt sick.

“Now that everyone is here we can get started. So today we are going to an acting workshop. It will mostly be working impromptu, off script. But I will let them tell you more about it when we get there. Now let’s hurry.” Mr. Simpson announced.

With this announcement, I did perk up slightly. I had been hoping we would be doing some sort of workshop on this trip to help hone our craft. So Harry, be damned, I was going to enjoy this.

♥

We came to a small theater off Broadway. As soon as I stepped inside, I fell in love. It was old but in a vintage way. The seats were covered in red velvet that was worn with years of use. The stage was high of the ground framed by gold filigree that still sparkled despite the thin layer of dust that lay upon it. I felt like I belonged here, it felt like home.

We worked our way into the first two rows and waited for our instructor. An older woman, probably in her mid-50s, came out to greet us.

“Hello, young actors, welcome. It is good to have you here. My name is Melody Meadows, and I was a Broadway actress for 30 years. Now I teach young hopefuls.  I hope today to help cultivate your love and passion for the theater and build upon your talent. Now let’s begin. Firstly, I will select two students to come up on stage. I will give you a prompt and you will act it out however you see fit. Sound good?” She asked.

We all eagerly nodded our heads in agreement.

She pulled out what I assumed to be a roster of our names and scrolled through it.

“Ok first up, Jessa Michaelson and Louis Tominlson. Up on stage you two.” Melody announced with a clap of her hands as she made her way out to the audience.

Excitement shot through me. Quickly making my way up to the stage, I thanked the universe for pairing me with Jessa. She was a phenomenal actress and we had done some amazing performances together in the past. Once on stage, Jessa and I exchanged excited smiles and looked out to the audience awaiting our prompt.

“Here is your scenario: You are in a relationship. Jessa you are leaving Louis for someone else. Louis you are madly in love with Jessa and you can’t let her leave you. You may begin at any time.”  Melody’s voice rang out.

I stopped breathing, the room started spinning. This wasn’t happening. I wasn’t about to basically act out what happening between Harry and me, act out my feelings towards him. I was about to say everything that was supposed to be bottled up, left unsaid.

I turned around and grabbed onto Jessa’s arm, her eyes going wide with concern.

“I need a minute.” I whispered.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I could this, really I could.

Turning back around, I faced my audience ready to give them one hell of a show.

 

_**Harry** _

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair when Melody finished reading off Louis and Jessa’s prompt. She might as well have told them to act out Louis and my relationship. Louis looked like he was about to faint, eyes big with fear. It took everything in me not to run up there and hold him, tell him how much I really did want him. Nervously, I brought my hand to my mouth and began to mindlessly bite my nails, while my eyes bore into Louis. I knew he couldn’t see me with the bright stage lights shining on him.

Jessa walked to the far left side of the stage as Louis turned away from her, setting the scene.

She mimicked opening a door and strolled up to Louis who was unaware of her presence.

“Louis.” Jessa said somberly.

Hearing his name, he turned around with a look of such pure love and happiness. It took my breath away. He ran to Jessa and threw his arms around her waist.

“Baby, I am so glad you’re home.” He said nuzzling his nose into her neck.

She remained stiff in his arms; he had yet to notice as he started to trail soft, sweet kisses up her neck. A pang of jealously shot through me, wishing it was my neck.

“Louis.” She said again more sternly this time pushing him away from her.

“What, baby?” Louis smiled at her. He had the most ridiculously adorable smile. I could help but smile myself.

Jessa stepped out of his embrace and slowly began to pace in front of him. Louis’ eyebrows crinkled in confusion.

“Louis, there is no easy way to say this, so I am just going to say it. I met someone else. We are in love. I’m leaving you, Louis.” Jessa told him voice pained.

Louis stared at her with a look of disbelief, not truly processing what she said. When it finally clicked, the look of pure heartbreak rushed over him. He ran to her, grabbed her arms to stop her pacing. He pulled her arms to his chest and looked down into her eyes.

“Jessa, Jessa. You can’t do this. I love you. I love you so much it hurts.” Louis cried eyes welling with tears.

“Louis, I’m sorry.” Jessa said softly.

“Jessa, I loved you since I first saw you. I knew you were the one the instant I laid eyes on you, the moment I heard you laugh. I knew we would be together forever. Please, Jessa, please don’t take away that forever.” Louis begged.

Jessa looked up at him a single tear falling down her cheek. She lifted one of his hands to her lips and kissed it softly.

“I can’t, Louis. I’m sorry. I will always love you, but my forever is meant to be with someone else.”  She told him letting go of his hand.

She turned from him and walked off stage.

Louis dropped to his knees where he stood and took his head in hands. He let out the most tragically beautiful sob that wrecked my entire being.

Tears were running down my face. I couldn’t let Louis see me like this, see how much he got to me. Silently, I rose from my seat and left the theater to get some air.


	9. Chapter 9

Louis was still cradling his head sobbing when a thunderous applause broke out from the audience. The stage lights lifted and Jessa ran back on stage to Louis’ side. She reached a hand down to help him up. Though he had managed to stop crying, his body was still trembling, raw emotion coursing through his veins. He didn’t want to be on stage anymore. It no longer felt like home. He was a mess, broken and vulnerable, on display for everyone to see.

Melody stood up still clapping.

“That was remarkable, truly remarkable. Young Louis that might be the single best performance I have seen by an amateur. The feelings you conveyed were breath taking. I felt my heart break along with yours. Well done. You have a bright future ahead of you, my dear.”  She said with great sincerity.

Louis was only able to nod his head in acknowledgement a small smile on his lips.

Melody moved her gaze in Jessa’s direction.

“Now, Jessa, you on the other hand.” She began.

Louis couldn’t stand to be on that stage for a moment longer, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. He could feel himself breaking, cracking, falling further apart with every second that passed. And he didn’t know if he would ever be able to put the pieces back together. Tears stung his eyes, threatening to fall with a single blink. With a whispered “sorry,” he blindly ran off the stage.

He found himself running up the aisle of theater and through the heavy double doors to the lobby. Blinded by the light of the sun filtering in through the windows, he didn’t see the hunched boy leaning against a pillar which caused Louis to run full force into him.

“Shit!” Louis yelled as he fell.

He ultimately landed atop the boy, limbs tangled. 

“Fuck, Lou!” The boy groaned.

Louis looked down horrified to see that it was Harry below him.

“H-harry, I-I’m sorry. D-didn’t see you.” Louis stammered eyes wide.

Harry stared up at the boy. His entire being wanted to reach up, grab ahold of that beautiful face, and crash their lips together, taking away both of their pain. But he wasn’t strong enough, he let fear take over. With a pained sigh he rolled out from underneath Louis, letting him drop to the floor.

“It’s fine, Louis.” Harry said flatly standing up.

He took a look at the broken boy, the boy he broke, wishing he had the strength to fix him, make it better. Blinking his eyes rapidly to fight the tears he knew were coming, he turned to leave.

“Harry, please, don’t go.” Louis begged.

Harry made his way to the door only pausing when he heard a choked sob escape Louis’ lips.

♥

The rest of the day pasted painfully slow. Louis consistently surrounded by his girlfriends checking every five minutes if he was ok.  It was sweet that they cared and he appreciated it, but every time they asked it made him think of Harry. Because of course he wasn’t ok, his heart was shattered in a million pieces. But he just smiled and nodded his head, there was no way he was going to tell any of this to them.

Harry was noticeably absent. When his name was called for the theater workshop, he was nowhere to be found. Louis tried his best not to care that he was missing. But he couldn’t help but be worried that Harry could be anywhere in New York City. He also couldn’t help but feel hurt that Harry couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him and would rather get lost then be in the same vicinity.  

At the end of the day, Louis couldn’t wait to get to his room and crash. He said goodbye to his friends and hastily made his way to the elevator. On his way up to the room, he couldn’t help but wonder if Harry would be there. Earlier in the day, Layla had received a text from Harry asking her to tell Mr. Simpson he had taken a cab back to the hotel because he wasn’t feeling well. Mr. Simpson wasn’t happy with Harry, having left without a word and going off on his own. Louis didn’t care if Harry got in trouble. The boy had done a lot worse in his opinion.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to see Harry. He honestly didn’t think he would be here. Harry was hurriedly walking back and forth, bundles of socks and clothes in his hands. Louis was confused to what was going on until he saw Harry’s suitcase open on his bed.

“You’re going home?” Louis asked meekly.

He couldn’t believe Harry would give up this trip just because he couldn’t stand to be around him any longer. It was stupid; it was childish.

Harry gave Louis a quick glance barely acknowledging him.

“No. I’m switching rooms.” Harry explained.

“What? Is someone else moving in here?” Louis asked eyebrows scrunched with confusion.

“No. I, uh, called my mum and told her that my roommate and I got in a fight and asked if she would buy me my own room. And, uh, she did. So I am moving out.” Harry told not bothering to look up from packing.

Harry had gotten everything packed and was zipping his suitcase.

“You are really something, Harry. You are beyond selfish. Do you even know or care how much that is going to cost your mum? God, if you can’t stand me that much, I would have bunked with Jessa or someone. But fuck, Harry! You just don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you? It’s tragic.” Louis cried.

Not bothering to hear if Harry had a response, Louis shut himself in the bathroom. He let himself slide along the door and onto the floor, cursing the day he laid eyes on Harry Styles.

Harry made his way to his new room shutting the door behind him. With the force of all the emotions he was holding in, he threw his suitcase to the floor.

“Fuck!” He cried as he slid to the floor.

The guilt and pain washed over Harry in crashing waves, one right after another not giving him a chance to breathe. He felt like he was drowning. And it felt as though his only lifesaver was Louis, but he was floating further and further way. No, he was pushing him further away. Everything Harry did was an opposing action to how he actually felt. He wanted to hold onto Louis for dear life, never let him go. But he told himself it was for the best to let him go. Sooner or later, Louis wouldn’t want him anymore. And that thought terrified him the most. He didn’t want to lose Louis, though he knew he had already lost him.  

♥

The next day, thankfully, passed quickly. The class went on a tour of the most famously filmed locations of the city. Louis avoided Harry just as Harry was avoiding him. Louis couldn’t help but sneak glances at the boy from underneath his eyelashes. It didn’t go unnoticed that Harry didn’t once laugh or smile the entire day. And he kept to himself, isolated from the others.

Louis did try to enjoy himself despite Harry. For the most part he did enjoy himself. Although he couldn’t help but feel a little bothered that Harry seemed so down. He was the one who left Louis and consequently broke his heart. So why was he the one to be moping about? And even though it made Louis angry that Harry was upset, he wanted to comfort the boy, hold him, kiss him, and tell him everything would be alright.

That afternoon at lunch, Layla and Jessa had announced their big plan for the night. There was a night club close to the hotel that didn’t check IDs so they were all going to sneak out that night for drinks and dancing. Louis was excited to go out and have fun, dance and drink the pain away.

♥

Louis spent an hour getting ready that night. He wanted to look amazing. He was hoping the old adage “fake it till you make it,” would work. If he looked good, he would feel good. And if that didn’t work he would just drink until he couldn’t feel, physically or emotionally. He decided on a pair of dangerously tight black pants that hugged his bum deliciously and a white scoop neck tee with his coat over top, opting to go more causal. He spent most of the time styling his hair into the most perfect quiff he had created to date. The final touch was a light line of black eyeliner he had borrowed from Jessa along the inner rims of his eyes. The effect was stunning, the blue of his eyes shining brilliantly. When he stepped back to take a look at the finished product, he let out a low whistle. He looked fucking hot.

“Harry, eat your heart out.” He said to his reflection with a devilish smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is point of view from here on.

_**Harry  
** _

I was once again waiting in the lobby with everyone else waiting on Louis. We were “sneaking out” to the club; though I was pretty sure Mr. Simpson knew and didn’t have the energy to fight all of us. Leaning against a wall, I picked an invisible piece of lint off my black trousers. I decided to wear all black, not wanting to draw attention to myself. My pants were somewhat tight but not obscenely so. I may have left one too many buttons undone on my shirt. I tried to tame my curls but they looked as unruly as ever. Running an impatient hand through those curls, I cursed Louis under my breath for taking so long. I just wanted to get this night over and done with.

I had contemplated not going, as I wasn’t really in the partying mood. Knowing I would be the only one not going made me consider it but the thought of seeing Louis all dressed up pushed my ass off the bed and made me start getting ready. Which led me here, waiting on him. I was mixture of emotions. Part of me couldn’t wait to see him. It had felt like forever since I had seen him, though it had only been a few hours. I missed him, missed every part of him. Part of me knew it was a bad idea to see him; it would only make me want him more. And I am trying _not_ to want him. I could look and not touch, right? At least that’s how I was rationalizing it in my head.

Just as I was getting lost in my thoughts of Louis, the boy in question strolled into the lobby. My knees went weak at the sight of him. I grasped on to the wall to keep myself standing. He looked…he looked…there isn’t an adequate word to describe how he looked. Gorgeous. Hot. Beautiful. All paled in compassion to Louis. He literally took my breath away. I knew I was staring. I couldn’t help it. Louis must have felt my eyes on him because his stunningly blue eyes locked on to mine, an impish smirk spread across his lips. He quickly winked at me before moving his attention elsewhere. I groaned as I felt how hard I had gotten. It was going to be a very long night.

_**Louis  
** _

I hopped down the stairs, excited to make my big entrance. I prayed Harry was going tonight and would there to see how hot I looked. Because I looked hot. Pausing before entering the lobby, I took a few calming breaths preparing myself for whatever was about to happen. If Harry wasn’t there, so be it. I still looked good.

I stepped into the lobby and starting walking to my group of girlfriends. Harry was leaning against the far wall. As soon as he saw me, I felt it. His eyes were devouring me, taking in every part of my body. It was intoxicating. Not able to wait any longer, I turned my head to look at him. The poor boy was holding on to the wall for dear life! I lifted my gaze to meet his. All I found swimming in those green eyes was a pained mixture of longing and lust. He wanted me. I knew he did, something was holding him back. I couldn’t help the small smile that formed. Wanting to really do Harry in, I winked once and turned away.

♥

The club was loud and hot. It was full of sweaty bodies gyrating on each other. The music pumped through my body like a second pulse. It was a bit overwhelming, so I made a beeline to the bar. The only way to get rid of these nerves was to drink them away. I waved the bartender over and ordered three shots of “whatever would get me the drunkest the fastest.” She quirked a brow at me but didn’t say anything. Setting down three glasses of clear liquid in front of me, she smiled and wished me good luck.

“Fuck luck.” I muttered as I took the shots one right after the other.

The alcohol burned my throat and caused me to cough. But I could already feel the warmth spreading through my limbs. Taking a deep breath, I decided I should take one more just for good measure. I raised my hand to flag the bartender, but it was smacked back down to my side. I whipped around indignantly to see who had touched me. I found myself face to face with a very frustrated looking Harry.

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” He asked me harshly.

His hand was still pinning my arm to my side. Attempting to push him away, I shoved at him with all my might. He barely budged.

“Fuck you, Harry. Like you care what I do. Just leave me alone.” I yelled at him, trying to break free from him again.

His grip on my arm tightened. I was sure there would be a bruise there tomorrow. With pained eyes, he looked down at me, his mouth set in a hard line. He leaned down till his mouth was level with my ear.

“You have no fucking clue, Louis. Just don’t be stupid.” He said voice strained.

Before I could ask him what the fuck that meant, he let go of my arm and disappeared.

“Prick.” I said under my breath.

Now that he was gone, I was able to order my shot in peace. I quickly took it and slammed the glass on the bar.

_**Harry  
** _

I stormed away from the bar. Louis made me so mad. He was insane, drinking all those shots by himself in this club. Anything could happen to him once his was too drunk to know better. And fuck him for saying I don’t care! He has no idea how much I actually do care. When I saw him by himself at the bar taking those shots, my blood began to boil. Something inside me snapped. My need to protect him took over.

When I stopped him from getting the bartender’s attention, I could see pure hatred in his eyes. It nearly broke me. He tried so hard to fight my hold on him. But try as he might, his tiny frame couldn’t break free from my strong hold. His frailty made me want to protect him more. Fuck, it made me want _him_ more.

I almost slipped up and told him how badly I wanted him when my mouth was against his ear and I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Everything in me wanted to slip my hand from his arm down to his glorious ass and grab onto it as I smashed my lips against his in a bruising kiss that left us both breathless. Instead, I told him cryptically he had no clue. No clue about what? How much I really do care? How much I really do want him? How much I regret walking away from him? All of the above.

Roughly running my hands though my hair, I turned where I was and started walking back to the bar. I didn’t really know why I was headed back towards Louis. I knew I couldn’t be with him despite how badly I wanted him. But my body was just taking me there. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to.

Reaching the bar, I looked for Louis. He was nowhere to be seen. I began to panic. What if something happened to him? It was all my fault. I left him. The room began to spin and the walls started to close in on me. I held onto the bar to steady myself so I wouldn’t fall.  Just as I felt tears begin to sting my eyes, I heard an unmistakable giggle. My head shot up and began to search for where Louis’ laugh had come from.

When I finally found him, I almost wished I hadn’t. My stomach dropped and my heart ached. Louis was out on the dance floor. His back pressed against an older man who had his hands possessively placed at Louis’ hips pulling him even closer. Louis let out another little giggle as the man suggestively rolled hips into Louis’ ass and gave it a playful smack.  I felt sick. I willed myself to look away but I couldn’t, a glutton for pain.  So I just stared, mouth hanging agape.

Louis slowly turned around so he was facing this mystery man. I could see that Louis had gotten him plenty excited from the noticeable bulge in his pants. Louis noticed too. Slowly trailing his small hands up the man’s broad chest, Louis wrapped his arms around his neck brought his ear down to his mouth. He began whispering only god knows what causing the man to visibly tremble. A pang of jealous shot through me. I wanted to be that man. I wanted to be the one Louis whispered naughty things to. I wanted to hold his body against mine, feel the softness of his curves against me. I wanted Louis so badly it physically hurt.

_**Louis  
** _

I was really drunk. My body was warm and heavy. That fourth shot really did me in. I really didn’t know what this guy I was dancing with looked like, since I couldn’t really get my eyes to focus. What I did know was that he had a tall, hard body with big hands…just like Harry. And I liked that. I liked that a lot. He didn’t have to know I was picturing he was Harry. That could stay my little secret.

I may have danced a little too close to him. And I may have let him touch me a little too much. And I may have been a little too drunk. But it felt too good to stop. When he rolled his hips and I could feel how hard he was against my bum, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed Harry. I mean I needed him. So I pulled him down to tell him, breathing hotly against his skin.

“I want you so bad. I want to feel your hands all over my body. I want you to taste every inch of me. Fuck. I need you.” I said, slightly slurring my words.

He took my small hand into his and began to lead me through the crowd. I didn’t know where he was taking me, and I didn’t care. I blurrily read the sign signaling he was taking me into the restroom.

Pushing me through the door, he slammed me against the nearest wall, pinning my hands above my head. I winced as my head hit the cold metal. He attacked my neck and bit roughly. I screamed out more in pain than pleasure. Placing his large thigh between my legs against my half hard dick, he forcefully began to rut his thigh back and forth. I moaned at the friction. He grinned down at me as he rucked the material of my shirt up and proceeded to pull it over my head.

“Looks like someone’s already been here. What a fucking slut!” He laughed looking at the fading love bites Harry had left a few days prior.

Harry. His face flashed through my mind. His big green eyes, pouty lips, and milky skin. I suddenly felt so tired, so heavy. I just wanted to sleep, wanted to be in Harry’s arms.

The alcohol was turning my blood to lead. I felt myself going limp.

“Hey! You can’t fall asleep!” He yelled, his voice sounded so far away.

I barely felt him slap my face trying to wake me. I was too far gone.

_**Harry  
** _

I watched as the man led Louis off the dance floor undoubtedly to the restroom for a quick hook up. I wasn’t going to follow them. I swear I wasn’t. Something inside me was just screaming at me to go after Louis. Screaming that I needed to protect him.

I jumped off the barstool and ran to where I saw the man take Louis. I stopped when I came to the restroom door. What was I going to do once I got in there? Louis was going to be pissed at me. That thought was pushed aside when I heard a loud slap. It didn’t sound like a sexual slap either. I growled at the thought of that man slapping my Louis.

I pushed through the door to see the man hold a half-naked, unconscious Louis. Louis’ cheeks were bright red from being slapped. His mouth hanging open.

“Wake up, you little bitch!” The man yelled as slapped Louis one last time, this slap causing Louis’ lip to break open and bleed.

Seeing my beautiful boy, bleeding and broken, made me to lose it. I slammed my fist against the nearest wall to draw the man’s attention.

“You fucking put him down right now.” I told him, venom dripping from my words. My fist clenched at my side.

He looked me up and down, and then laughed.

“What are you gonna do, pretty boy?” He asked amused.

“Put him down.” I repeated, it came out in a growl from deep within my chest.

He just laughed at me again.

I lunged at him, my fist connecting with his left eye, my sudden movement catching him off guard. He fell back, head hitting the ground.

I scooped Louis up into my arms, holding him tight. I looked down at the man who was moaning as he clutched his face.

“You’re disgusting. I should kick your ass for touching him.” I pulled Louis closer to my chest. “But you aren’t worth the fucking effort.” I spat.

♥

Louis stayed unconscious through the cab ride back to the hotel and even as I carried him to his room and gently lay him on his bed. I carefully removed his shoes and pulled the covers over his body. Wetting a wash cloth, I slowly wiped away the dried blood from his lip.

Louis would never know what happened tonight. He would never know who rescued him from the man at the club, who tucked him into bed. I would never tell him. And it was better that way. It would be harder for him to move on to know how much I care, how badly I want to hold and protect him. Kissing his hair and breathing in his scent, I left for my room.

“It’s better this way.” I softly told myself as his door shut behind me.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**_Harry_ **

I woke to a pounding sound. It was way too early to be getting up, so I rolled over, covering my head with a pillow to try and block out the noise. But it only became louder, sounding as if it was right next to my head.

“Harry! Open your fucking door!”

I could hear her voice, loud and clear. Layla. Layla was knocking at my door. What the hell could she want? Everything seemed fine after the break up, surprisingly no drama. I thought she would have given me a harder time. Not that I was complaining.

“Open your door right now!” She bellowed, not doubt waking everyone on my floor.

When Layla wanted something, she got it. So there was no use fighting her.

I groaned as I unwilling flung myself out of bed, not bothering to cover my boxers. She had seen me in less. I swung the door open, trying to put on my most irritated face.

“For fuck’s sake! What is it, Layla?” I growled down at her.

“Oh don’t you use that tone with me, Harry!” She sassed, successfully pushing her way pass me, into my room, and gracelessly plopping down on my bed.

Shutting the door, I ran a hand over my face to try and calm myself and prepare for whatever we were about to talk about. But I was not prepared for what she said.

“I saw you last night. I saw you carrying Louis. Who had no shirt on, by the way. And you were holding onto him pretty tight.” She informed me, eyebrows cocked.

I decided to put my acting skills to test and show no emotion, give nothing away.

“And your point being what exactly?” I asked flatly.

“What the fuck were you doing carrying our half naked _gay_ classmate out of the club? And it looked like you were in a real hurry to get where ever you were going.” She implored.

“And what does it matter to you?”

“Let’s see. It matters to me because a couple days ago you and I were dating then I find a whole bunch of love bites all over your body resulting in our break up. Now I see you with Louis in what looks like an intimate situation. I am not _dumb_ , Harry. I can put two and two together.” She said in a rush to hide her emotions, but I knew she was upset, knew she was hurt.

I swallowed thickly, a lump forming in my throat. I was at a loss for words, not sure of how to respond. Should I tell the truth or lie? So I just stared at her.

Visibly upset, Layla threw her hands up, giving up.

“Are you gay, Harry?” She asked, her voice small, not daring to look up at me.

“I don’t know.” I breathed, my eyes going wide at my confession.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Harry, you can talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on.” She begged, tears welling up in her eyes.

I took a long deep breath, considering if I could trust her or not. Layla had her flaws, but she was a good person. Plus, it would be nice to get it all off my chest, get it out in the open.

I sat down on the bed but didn’t look at her. I kept my gaze on the wall in front of me.

“It means I’m confused. It means I’m feeling things I have never felt before. It means I think I am in love with Louis Tomlinson.”

♥

It took a half an hour to tell Layla everything that had happened bewteen Louis and myself, working my way from the plane ride to the incident in the club restroom. Explaining how things had progresses from innocent touches to heated make out sessions to absolutely no contact at all. I confessed to her how I felt things for Louis I had never felt before, that when I kissed him, something ignited within me, my whole being craved him. Layla attentively listened, nodding along and not saying anything. There was a hurt look in her eyes when I said I had never felt this was towards anyone before. I instantly felt guilty, knowing how much of a slap in the face it was. I paused and grabbed her hand, pulling it to my chest.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I really did care about you. I still do.” I told her, softly kissing the back of her hand.

She shook her head, giving me a sad smile.

“It’s ok. I always knew you didn’t want me as much as I wanted you. I could feel it in the way you kissed me. There was no passion, no hunger, like you were just going through the motions.” She explained, taking her hand back.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I just figured it was me, something I was doing wrong. But it all makes sense now.” She took a deep breath. “But enough about us, what are you going to do about Louis? You can’t run from your feelings forever, Harry. It seems to me you’re only hurting yourself, and you’re definitely hurting Louis. Why not just be honest?” She asked like it was the simplest solution in the world.

“It’s not the easy, Layla.”

I spent another 30 minutes explaining my fears to her, my family, friends, and kids at school all rejecting me, losing out on my career for being gay. The more I talked, the more annoyed her expression became.

“You’re so daft! I can see why all of those things may bother you. But it’s 2013 being gay isn’t some big, bad, awful taboo like it was in the 50s. Yes, your parents might have a hard time adjusting, but they’ll get over it. Yes, there might be some assholes at school who might call you names. But, Harry, this is who you are. Embrace it. Or you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life and miss out on being with someone you truly care about, someone who truly makes you happy. Isn’t _that_ worth the risk?”

I stared at her, speechless. What she said did make sense, it did. There was just one problem: I was a coward.

“I don’t know.” I answered.

♥

**_Louis_ **

_His lips were warm against mine causing me to deepen the kiss, sinking further into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me, wanting to feel every part of him. His scent was intoxicating, making me drunk with passion. I felt him rut his hips into mine, our erections rubbing against one another._

_“Harry.” I moaned, my mouth pressed against his neck, my breath hot and fast against his skin._

_“Shh, baby, I’m gonna take care of you.” He murmured, rolling his hips against mine again._

_I began to tremble, my climax already building. But I needed more, so much more._

_“I need you.” I confessed, my desire, passion, and desperation audible in my voice._

_He pulled his lips away from my neck to look into my eyes. His gaze strong, burning with the same lust and need I was feeling. But there was something else hidden there, something softer, something I couldn’t name. It made my heart flutter._

_“You have me, Louis. Always.” Harry promised before connecting our lips once more._

_A loud pounding nose pulled my attention away from Harry, causing me to break our kiss and look away. When I looked back to Harry, he was gone, my arms empty. I blinked several times, confused._

I found myself lying alone in bed with a loud pounding noise coming from the hall outside.

It had all been a dream.

The realization hit me like a wave, knocking the air out of my lungs. I hadn’t been in Harry’s arms, I hadn’t been kissing his lips, and he was most certainly not telling me that he was mine. Because he never would be. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I reached up the brush the hair out of my eyes and felt the steady stream of tears running down my hot cheeks.

My hand slipped down to my trembling mouth, my fingers brushing across my lower lip. I let out a gasp as a sharp pain shot through me. That’s when the memories of last night hit: the club, the shots, Harry, dancing, the faceless man, and _oh god_ , the restroom! But my memory stopped there. I remembered going in there with the man from the club and him being way too rough. Then I had thought of Harry. That’s when it gets blurry. I’m pretty sure I passed out or blacked out. I vaguely remember the guy slapping me. My fingers graze my swollen lip again. He must have done it. But how did I get away? How did I get back here?

I laid in bed for a few minutes willing myself to remember but nothing happened. It was all a blank. Frustrated, I decided to get up, get dressed, and get some breakfast. All the while praying my memory would come back as the day progressed.

♥

I looked like shit. That much I could tell you. I about had a panic attack when I saw myself in the mirror. The right side of my face was disgusting. I recoiled when I looked at it. My cheek was a purplish red, almost like an angry bruise. And I swear it was in the shape of a hand. The thought of that man hitting me made me shudder. My lower lip was swollen from a large cut, reaching from the corner of my mouth to almost the center of my lip.

I tried my best to cover up the mangled mess that used to be my face. I wore my thick rimmed glasses and placed a woolen beanie over my hair as low as possible without it looking too odd. I then slipped on a hoodie and pulled the hood over the beanie, shadowing my face as best I could. I knew I looked strange. I knew I looked nothing like the perfectly manicured boy everyone was used to, but desperate times call for desperate measures.  And there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone see my face like this.

Once I had made it to the dining area, I quickly took a few items from the buffet and grabbed a table in the far corner, hoping no one would notice me and try to sit with me. I was not up for conversation, and was most definitely up for explaining what had happened to my face, especially since I had no idea what had really happened.

Trying to eat as quickly as possible so I could make my escape back my room, I felt someone watching me. I pulled my hood further over my face and turned slightly to see who it was. Once my eyes found the culprit, they snapped back to my food, praying they hadn’t seen me.

Harry and Layla were sitting about four tables away, hunched over so they could talk quietly to one another. When I had spotted them, both of them were looking at me. Harry with a look that was hard to describe…regret, sadness, longing? I wasn’t quite sure. Layla, on the other hand, had an unmistakable look of curiosity while she unabashedly stared at me. She had been speaking with Harry slightly nodding along to whatever she was saying.

I could feel the blush creep across my face and my heart beat quicken. There was only one reason Harry would be sitting with Layla. He went back to her. He was never going to leave her. I had thought they had broken up since they hadn’t spoken or been around each other for the last four days, but I guess they worked it out. And it looked like he must have told her about what happened between us or at least something about me. Why else would Layla be staring at me the way she was?

I felt sick. Harry would never be mine, no matter how badly I wanted him. And now he and his girlfriend were probably laughing at how pathetic I was. A gay boy falling for a straight boy. How sadly cliché. I was such a fucking idiot.

It was all too much. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat. But there was no way I was going to let them see me cry. I pulled away from the table, not caring about my food, and ran out of the dining room, seeking solace in my room.

I collapsed face first on my bed and let my sobbing take over. I cried until I had no more tears and was just a hiccupping mess.

“One more day.” I told myself.

One more day and this miserable trip would be over.

♥

**_Harry_ **

I decided to grab some breakfast with Layla, thinking it would give us a chance to talk more. She was surprisingly easy to about everything that was going on with Louis and all my feelings. And for that I was grateful. I think I would have exploded if I had kept this to myself any longer.

After getting our food, Layla and I grabbed at table for two in the center if the dining room. We sat in silence just eating until I noticed Louis walk in and join the buffet line. He looked awful. Even though he was trying to cover his face, I could still see the red mark on his cheek and busted lip. It made me cringe.

“Hey, are you ok?” Layla asked, sensing my discomfort.

I simply nodded my head in Louis’ direction, not trusting my voice. Too afraid I would cry if I spoke.

“Wow! He looks bad, doesn’t he?”

Again, I nodded. I watched as Louis took a seat by himself in the corner. He looked absolutely miserable. Everything in me wanted to go to him, comfort him, and make sure he was ok.

Following my gaze and trail of thought, Layla suggested –

“Why don’t you just go over there? You don’t have to confess anything major. Just see how he’s doing, yeah?”

As I nodded along to what she was saying, thinking it was a good idea, just act like a concerned friend, Louis looked over, our eyes connected for a brief second. His filled with nothing but hurt and pain, all because of me.

“Shit.” I cursed, quickly turning away.

I could see Louis out of the corner of my eye get up and run out of the room. It took everything not to chase after him.

“Why don’t you go to him?” Layla asked, reading my mind.

“Because I am a fucking coward and a fucking idiot! That’s why!” I said through gritted teeth as I took my head in my hands.

I hated myself, really I did.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Harry_ **

We spent our last day at Ellis Island, taking a ferry boat over. We went on a tour of the island learning its history, how the immigrants from all the different countries that made up America had stopped here first before granted entry to the land that held all their dreams. It was rather interesting looking at faded pictures of people with worn faces whose wrinkles told the story of a much harder time.

From there we made our way over to the Statue of Liberty, which was definitely a sight to behold. I could only imagine what it was like seeing that striking figure on the horizon after an endless ship ride, tired and hungry but full of hope.  

I stuck with Layla entire day though she kept bugging me to go to Louis. He was painfully alone, isolating himself from the group. Whenever anyone tried to talk to him, he simply ignored them. He was still wearing the sad get up from this morning; I would have thought he’d change for the outing. The fact he didn’t scared me. I was afraid of what was happening to him, how broken he had become. And I knew it was all my fault.

I kept trying to get up the courage to talk to him. After all every fiber of my being wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be ok, tell him how much I cared for him, how badly I did want him. But it was my stupid, stubborn brain that held me back, my faulty logic that kept me away from him, that doomed us both to suffer.

Before I even realized it the day was over and we were headed back to the hotel. Everyone said goodnight to one another, opting for an early night since we had an early plane to catch. I stalked off to my room alone, mulling over the trip. It definitely didn’t go anything like I thought it would. Never did I think Layla and I would break up. Never did I think I would be questioning my sexuality. And never, ever did I think I would be falling in love with Louis.

♥

**_Louis_ **

I had a dreamless night. I didn’t know if I thought that was a good or bad thing. On one hand, dreaming was a way for me to be with Harry, to feel his lips on mine, to feel his hands on my skin. But on the other hand, the cold hard realization that it was only a dream and the ache still in my heart didn’t seem worth it.

I rolled over, smashing my face into the pillow and screamed loudly while pounding my fists into the mattress. It may have seemed childish, but it felt like the only way to get my emotions out, the hurt, the pain, the loss. It was all too much. And I was about to spend eight hours sitting next to the boy who caused it all. The universe must truly hate me. I must have been an awful person in a past life to deserve this fate.

Grumbling, I rolled myself out of bed to get ready to face Harry Styles and the flight from hell.

♥

Once again, I avoided everyone else on the bus ride to the airport and then when we were in the terminal. I was in no mood to speak to anyone. I didn’t want to fake pleasantries. I simply wanted to be home, in bed, and be able to wallow in my misery in peace.

Everyone seemed to pick up on my bad vibes, and didn’t so much as glance in my direction. I put my earbuds in and turned my Ipod to my show tunes playlist, trying to drown out the noise of the world around me. Too soon, the class was called to be boarded, hardly giving me enough time to prepare for the flight. Inwardly groaning, I grabbed my carryon and joined the que, Harry and Layla falling in line behind me. I groaned again, not so inwardly this time.

Once on the plane, we were sat in the same order as the flight in – Layla at the window, Harry in the middle, and me on the aisle. There had been a small argument between Harry and Layla about the seating arrangements. Harry stating he wanted the window this time for the view, but Layla insisted sitting there. I was almost certain she nodded in my direction, and in doing so, Harry sighed and reluctantly sat down in the middle seat.

Did he really not want to sit next to me that much?

Well, the feeling was mutual. I would rather being doing anything else than be stuck next to the boy who shattered my heart for the next eight hours.

With great care and much concentration, I stowed my carryon away. I absolutely did not want a repeat of last time. I didn’t know what I would do if Harry grabbed on to my hips to steady me if I fell. Or worse, if he did nothing and let me fall. I wasn’t about to find out.

A feeling of anger and jealousy shot through me when I sat down and saw Harry and Layla huddled close, whispering quietly to one another. I couldn’t help the remark that slipped out.

“Nice to see you two worked things out. It would have been such a same.” I said, sarcasm lacing my words.

Their heads pulled guiltily apart and both looked over at me.

“We’re not –“ Layla began.

“It’s not like that.” Harry muttered.

“Whatever. It’s none of my business.” I told them putting my earbuds back in and closing my eyes.

“Louis!” Harry called.

But I pretended like I couldn’t hear him. I didn’t want to hear whatever lame excuse he was about to feed me. Instead, I drew my feet up on the chair, hugging my knees to my chest, and laid my head between my knees – letting my silent tears fall.

This was going to be an agonizingly long flight.

♥

I must have fallen asleep before takeoff. I woke up with my head still resting on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. A sharp pain shot down my spine.

“Ouch.” I grumbled, as I unwrapped myself.

“You ok?”

I looked over to see Layla fast asleep and Harry with a magazine in his hands staring at me, concern clear in his eyes. I was shocked to see he cared I was in pain.

“Um, yeah, just a bad position to fall asleep in.” I explained, giving my legs a good stretch.

“Right. It didn’t look comfortable at all, but you were dead to the world.” He laughed.

“Uh, I, I’m gonna go take a piss.” I stuttered before awkwardly stumbling away, my legs numb.

But I didn’t miss Harry confused look.

Slamming the lavatory door shut, I quickly splashed cold water on my face. I was a bit overwhelmed by what had just happened. Harry basically admitted to watching me sleep – or at least looking at me. Then he was concerned with how I was doing; then confusing by how I was acting. What was going on? This was how he was right before he kissed me. But he doesn’t want me. He’s with Layla.

“What the fuck?” I growled at my reflection.

There was a knock at the door.

“Everything alright in there, dear?” One of the flight attendants asked.

“Yes! Just finishing up!” I called, mortified she has heard me.

I flushed the toilet and washed my hands to make it seem like I had a reason to be in the loo. When I came out, the flight attendant was standing there with a small smile.

“Sorry.” I muttered pink cheeked.

“It’s alright, dear. We all have those days.” She assured.

With a nod, I rushed back to my seat. Before I could make it, the plane hit a large patch of turbulence causing me to lose my footing and stumble sideways into a row of seats and fall onto an unfortunate passenger.

“You alright there, Lou? Didn’t think I’d see you back so soon.” Harry chuckled down at me, his hands on my hips firmly holding me on his lap.

My eyes widened with shock as I realized whose lap I had fallen onto. My skin started to flush when I felt how tightly he was holding me. Swallowing thickly, I willed myself to speak, to move, to do anything. Instead, I just blinked up at him like a love sick idiot.

His amused expression turned to one of concern when I didn’t respond. He gently shook me.

“Louis, are you ok? Please say something?” He pleaded, eyes big with worry.

“Why do you hate me?” I asked.

As soon as the question left my lips, I regretted it. I snapped my mouth shut, wishing the words would fade away, that Harry wouldn’t hear them. But he did. He flinched almost like I had slapped him. The question causing him visible discomfort. It almost made me happy in a way, though, like I wanted him to feel just as uncomfortable as I did. Even though I knew he was only feeling a fraction of what I was.

“But I don’t hate you, Lou.” He responded weakly.

“You sure could have fooled me.” I sassed, feeling bolder.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think that.”

He paused. I could hear and feel the sincerity in his apology.

“We’re good mates, yeah?” He asked with a tentative smile.

I stared up at him.

“Mates? Yeah, we’re just mates.” I repeated numbly.

He would have no idea how much that one word broke my heart. Because he had just defined all that we would ever be, friends and never lovers.

♥

**_Harry_ **

Why was being such an idiot? This was the perfect chance to tell Louis how I felt. And what did I do? I told him we were just mates! I could see his heart break all over again when he heard the word. What he didn’t know was that I was breaking my own heart as well.

Here he was, the boy I was crazy about sitting in my lap looking as vulnerable and beautiful as can be, asking me why I hated him. I should have told took his head in my hands, whispered “I love you” against his lips, and kissed him with all the passion I had for him, the passion that had been building inside me. I should have showed him how much I cared and never let him go. It sounds sappy and romantic but that was what my heart was dying to do. Instead, my stupid mouth told him he was just my friend.

I was mentally cursing myself, when Louis lifted himself from my lap. Instinctively, I gripped tighter on his hips not wanting him to go. He looked down at my hands, eyes filling with tears and bottom lip between his teeth.

“Harry.” He whispered.

It wasn’t so much of a question as it was a plea. A plea to let him go. A plea to stop playing with his emotions.

“I’m sorry.” I told him – our eyes meeting, a single tear running down his cheek which he quickly wiped away.

♥

The rest of the plane ride passed in silence, Layla still asleep and Louis with his head resting on his knees again. I wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not. I knew he had been crying earlier from the way his back shook from silent sobs.

I really wish I had the ability to punch myself in the face.  Because I deserved to have the shit kicked out of me for what I was doing to Louis.

Once we landed, Louis ran off the plane as fast as he could. Layla pulled me down next to her after he was gone.

“What happened?” She asked groggily.

“You don’t want to know, and I really don’t want to talk about it.” I grumbled.

“That bad?” She asked, eyebrows raised.

I merely scoffed in response.

I made it out of baggage claim just in time to see Louis reunite with his mum. He dropped all his luggage when he saw her and ran into her arms, immediately crying onto her shoulder. His mum ran a comforting hand through his hair, but she had a bewildered look on her face, unsure as to why her son was so upset.

“Wow. It must have been bad.” Layla said as she looked down at Louis and his mum.

“Oh, shut up.” I groaned.

“Don’t be mad at me, lover boy. I told you to tell him how you feel.” She smugly reminded me.

“Honestly, Layla, shut up!” I growled, grabbing my bags from the luggage carousel.

After retrieving my bags, I walked up to Layla and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Thanks for everything. And sorry about the break up.” I said giving her forehead a quick kiss.

♥


	13. Chapter 13

**_Louis_ **

The New York trip was over, and I didn’t know how I felt. It had been a Friday when we returned to London. So I had the entire weekend to unpack, process the trip, and prepare for school on Monday.

School.

Normally, I loved it. I couldn’t wait to get up every morning, pick out my ensemble for the day, learn new things, see my friends, and end the day with drama class. But now, I was dreading class on Monday. My face was still a mess from the incident at the club. It had healed somewhat, but my cheek was now a dulling mixture of yellow and purple, the bruise slowly fading. And my lip still had the big ugly cut.

What was I supposed to say when people asked me about it?

Oh, I met this guy at a club, we started to hook up but I passed out so he beat me up?? Um, no thank you!

But I didn’t really want to lie either. Lying wasn’t my style. I suppose I could always go for the whole “I really don’t want to talk about it” bit. But that usually only works for so long.

However, what I was dreading the most about school tomorrow was Harry Styles. I hadn’t seen him since the plane and hadn’t spoken to him since my awkward fall into his lap. I still couldn’t get over the fact I had cried in front of him. I had promised myself I would never let him see me cry. But he had hurt me so badly with the whole “mates” thing and when he grabbed onto me so hard when I tried to get off his lap. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It had all become too much, my emotions getting the best of me. It wouldn’t happen again.

No matter how hard it was going to be seeing Harry and Layla walking down the hall, hand in hand. Or even just seeing Harry and remembering all that had happened in New York – the kissing, the words he had said to me, how far we had almost gone. And then pretending like all of that never happened, pretend Harry Styles never told me he wanted me that he felt things with me he had never felt before. Because it was all a lie, a lie I needed to forget.

♥

I got through my first five periods and lunch without too much trouble. Yes, there had been some muss about my face, but the whole “I don’t want to talk about it” mixed with a sad face worked out very well. I also managed not to run into Harry or Layla, or a combo of the two. I knew my luck was about to run out with sixth period: drama. They would both be there. Unless, there was a god and both were sicken ill with the flu, which I highly doubted.

I made sure to look extra nice this morning, despite my face. I wore my tightest pair of black skinny jeans that showed off my bum deliciously (if I do say so myself) and paired them with my converse and white scoop neck tee with a striped jumper on top. I let my hair fall in soft fringe around my face hoping it would mask some of the ugly bruise. Overall, I thought I looked pretty hot, which made me feel confident when, in fact, I felt far from it.

When I strolled into drama, my head was held high and my mouth set in an easy grin. It almost fell when I saw Harry and Layla sitting with each other in the middle of what looked like an intense conversation. Almost.

I made my way over to Jessa and the girls taking a seat while trying my best to ignore the love birds. It became nearly impossible when their voices rose.

“Just do it, Harry.” Layla practically screamed, irritation apparent in her voice.

“Do not push me, Layla.” Harry growled through gritted teeth.

He got up and stormed to the back of the class and took a seat by himself.

“I wonder what’s got his knickers in a twist?” I mussed playfully to the girls.

They all busted out into a fit of giggles, all eyes turning to us. I merely gave a demure smile and batted my eyelashes in response. Harry, however, gave me a look that could kill. His eyes bore so deeply into mine, I was forced to look away.

Honestly, what had crawled up his arse and died?

♥

The day was finally over and I survived, barely. I walked down the hall with an armful of books for that night’s assignments. I was happily humming _Defying Gravity_ to myself, when I felt someone shove me from behind.

At first, I thought it was someone accidentally bumping into me in the crowded hallway, but I was painfully wrong. Another hard shove came; I fell to my knees, my books to flying out of my arms. I went to reach for the books but they were kicked out of my reach.

“Got to be faster than that, faggot!”

I flinched at the word. I hadn’t been called that since sophomore year when I first came out. Hesitantly, I looked over my shoulder to see who my attacker was. Some big bloke I didn’t recognize towered over me. He must be new. No one picked on me anymore.

Just as I was about to open my mouth to say some sassy, sarcastic remark a fist collided with the right side of his face.

In completed shock, I scurried back away from the fight that was unfolding. My mouth nearly hit the ground when I saw that it was Harry who had punched the kid. There was nothing in the world that could have prepared me for what came out of his mouth.

“Don’t fucking touch him! If I ever see you lay so much as a finger on him, I swear I will end you.” Harry yelled, hatred dripping from his words.

I could see that his fists were shaking and his bottom lip was trembling, like he was holding himself back. It was like he wanted to murder this guy. And for what? Pushing me and calling me a name? What the hell?

With wobbly legs, I got up and ran away as fast as I could. I ran away from Harry, the boy who did nothing but confuse the shit out of me.

♥

Once I made it home, I flung myself on the sofa and let out the loudest groan ever. I was beyond frustrated. No. I was pissed. Who did Harry think he was, leading me on in New York, then dumping me, now fighting for my honor? I honestly think I hated the boy.

In this moment I was glad my mum worked late and wasn’t home, I really didn’t want to explain my antics to her. Normally, I loved telling her everything, but I was so done with talking about Harry. I was so done with Harry.

Just then my doorbell rang. I decided to ignore it, as I was not in the mood to speak to anyone. But then came a loud pounding, as if whoever was there was using their fist to knock. Again, I chose to ignore it. But the pounding just became louder and more frantic. I couldn’t ignore it any longer. Someone really wanted my attention.

With a loud sigh, I made my way over to the door. I opened it, and upon seeing who it was slammed it close. But my visitor shot his arm out and caught it before it could shut.

“Louis, please!” Harry begged, opening the door to my more than irritated face.

“What is it, Harry? What could you possibly want?” I practically screamed.

“Just let me explain.” He pleaded, voice small.

“Explain what? Explain how you led me on in New York – made me think you actually liked me, actually wanted me. Then you completely ignored me, didn’t give me so much as an explanation as to what happened. And now here you are beating up a guy. For what? Calling me a faggot? No, Harry, I don’t want to hear your explanation. I am tired of you toying with me. I am tired of you hurting me. Please just leave me alone.” I cried, tears freely falling down my face.

Harry took a step closer to me, both of us now standing in my hallway. He reached a shaky hand out and wiped a tear from my cheek.

“Don’t.” I begged, breath catching in my chest.

“I can’t leave you alone. I tried, and I can’t. I was scared, stupid and scared. So I ran away. I ran away and I hurt you. I’m sorry, so sorry.” He murmured.

“What are you saying?” I asked, frantically searching his eyes for an answer.

“I’m saying I did want you. I do want you, Louis. I’m saying I’m done with being scared. I’m done with running away.” He told me, running his thumb along my jaw stopping just below my lip.

♥

**_Harry_ **

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I had to have Louis, and I had to have him now. I kicked the door shut behind me, closing us in. Louis let out a little surprised gasp. A wave of heat and want ran through my body; we were finally alone. I ran my thumb along his lip, feeling it tremble beneath my touch.

“You are beautiful.” I whispered down to him.

He drew his lip between his teeth and hesitantly smiled up at me, eyes wide with need. No longer willing to wait a second longer, I dipped my head to bring my lips to rest upon his. Louis sighed contently before wrapping his arms around my neck, sinking further into the kiss. It was slow at first, our lips familiarizing themselves with one another again. Louis felt and tasted exactly how I remembered. Deliciously perfect. I never wanted to let him go. And this time I wouldn’t.

I licked across the seam of Louis’ mouth, begging to be let in. He quickly parted his lips allowing my tongue to meet his once again. Our tongues began to dance with each other; Louis letting mine take the lead. I slowly ran my hands down his back and stopped at the swell of his bum, sneaking my hands beneath his shirt to feel his warm skin against my palms. As I painstakingly raked my hands up his sides, he let out little moans against my lips that shot shivers down my spine.

Louis sucked and nibbled on my bottom lip. I moaned loudly and pulled his body closer to mine. I was painfully hard, my erection straining against my jeans begging to be released. I rolled my hips against Louis’, seeking friction, both of us moaning at the contact. He attached his lips to my neck and sucked hard. I couldn’t help but picture those lips wrapped around my cock instead. But I wasn’t going to push him. I was going to let Louis go at his own speed. Almost reading my thoughts, Louis leaned back and looked up into my eyes.

“Upstairs.” He breathed, voice filled with so much lust it took my breath away.

I nodded and placed my hands below Louis’ bum at the top of his thighs and began to lift. Instinctively, he jumped and wrapped his legs around my waist. Slowly, I walked us up the stairs, my mouth never leaving his neck. Louis placed his mouth to my ear, his hot breath leaving goose bumps on my skin.

“First door on the left.” He instructed sucking my earlobe into his mouth, causing my knees to go weak and almost making us fall. But I managed to make it to our destination and backed Louis against the bed, laying him down gently before climbing atop him. Peppering kisses along his neck, I paused at his ear.

“I want you so bad.” I murmured feeling him squirm beneath me.

He grabbed the sides of my head, dragging my gaze to meet his. His pupils blown with want and need. I’m sure mine mirrored his.

“Then have me.” Louis said, eyes dark with lust but there was a hint of vulnerability hidden within.

That made me pause. I wanted Louis to know I was serious this time, that I wasn’t going to hurt him again. With our eyes still locked, I finally let my heart speak.

“I’m yours, Louis.”

He blinked up at me, almost in disbelief, before the most brilliant smile spread across his face. The beauty of it nearly breaking my heart.

“Mine?” He asked, drawing his bottom lips between his teeth.

“Yes, all yours.” I smiled down at him, kissing his lips softly.

♥

**_Louis_ **

I awoke cradled in Harry’s arms. Smiling to myself, I pulled his arms tighter around me. I still couldn’t believe what had happened – Harry told me he wanted me, he told me he was mine.

My alarm clock caught my eye. It was 6:30pm. Shit. My mum would be home any minute. And as much as I wanted to stay in Harry’s arms, I didn’t want my mum to find us like this. Not that she would be mad. We were still fully clothed after all. It’s just I wanted to tell her rather than her walk in on us.

So I took one last look at Harry’s sleeping form and kissed his perfect pout before I gently shook him. He pulled me closer and let out a groan that I felt deep within my belly. I felt a fire of desire begin to burn. I had to get this boy out of my bed – and quickly!

“Harry.” I whispered into his ear, shaking him harder.

He blinked his eyes several times to get them to focus. Upon seeing my face, a sweet smile that melted my heart spread across his lips.

“Hey, baby.” He rasped, reaching out to rub my cheek.

“Baby.” I repeated, closing my eyes and leaning into his touch.

“What is it, Lou?” He asked, breaking me from my love stupor.

“Oh, my mum is going to be home soon, and I think it would be best if you weren’t in my bed when she got here.” I smiled down at him.

“But I like being in your bed.” He playfully pouted as he pulled me down on top of him, our chests pressed together.

“Believe me; I want you in my bed just as bad as you want to be in it.” I said with a kiss. “Later. I promise.”

I sat up and tried to push him off the bed, failing miserably. With one last kiss, he hopped up and grinned down at me.

“My house tomorrow after school?” He asked with a smirk.

“Sounds perfect.”

♥


	14. Chapter 14

_**Louis** _

I awoke Tuesday morning thinking Monday afternoon had all been a dream. My fingers traced my lips slowly. I could still feel Harry there. Bringing my pillow to my face, I inhaled deeply – it still smelled like Harry. It hadn’t been a dream; it actually happened.

Harry Styles was mine!

I let out a happy squeal and gleefully pounded my fists against my mattress. I didn’t give two shits how ridiculously gay I looked at the moment. I was beyond ecstatic.

There was a definite spring in my step as I got dressed. I blasted my favorite pop music as I danced around my room while I got ready for the day. My mum stopped at my door on her way out.

“Somebody’s in a good mood I see.” She smiled.

“You have no idea, mum! I’ll tell you all about it later. Though I might be a bit late today. I have plans with a, uh, friend after class.” I beamed.

“Ok, have fun, Boo. Love you!” She said blowing me a kiss.

“Love, you too, mum!” I called after her.

♥

As I walked onto campus my nerves hit. What if Harry was different at school? What if he ignored me again? I took a deep breath to prepare myself. After all, Harry had a history of breaking promises and turning into a real asshole. I could only hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

I let out a tiny sigh of relief when I saw Harry leaning against his car in the parking lot. I sent a silent prayer to the universe that he was waiting for me. When his eyes caught mine, he broke into a huge grin and started to jog towards me. My prayers had been answered.

“Hey, babe. Why do you look so worried?” He asked when he reached me.

“Honestly? I wasn’t sure how today would go. If you would ignore me or not.” I answered truthfully, voice small.

Upon hearing my answer, he drew me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. I let my cheek rest against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

“I’m sorry for being such a stupid twat before, Lou. But I’m not going to run this time. Yes, it’s going to be hard for me. I may pull away when things get tough, but I am going to try my damnedest to stay strong for you because that’s what you deserve. Please just don’t get up on me, baby, I need you.” He said, pulling me away from his chest to look deep into my eyes.

I felt the truth behind his words. I saw the conviction in his eyes. And I loved him for it.

“I am here for you no matter what. I’m yours just as much as you are mine.” I vowed, meaning every word.

When I finished speaking, Harry leaned down and softly met his lips to mine – our first public kiss. Not that I was thinking of who was watching us. My mind was simply Harry, Harry, Harry.

Breaking the kiss, I breathlessly smiled up at him. I was addicted, and I needed more.

“Louis, I know it’s rather cheesy. But will you be my boyfriend?” He asked with a huge smile that said he thought it was anything but cheesy.

“Yes, Harry, I would love to be your boyfriend!” I said with a tiny squeal as I jumped into his arms.

With a laugh, he caught me and spun me around while pressing his lips to mine.

♥

_**Harry** _

Louis and I walked into school hand in hand. On the outside, I looked cool, calm, and collected. On the inside, I was a whole mess of emotions. I was thrilled I was finally with Louis – finally being my true self. Part of me was proud for being man enough to say “Fuck it. This is who I like. Yes, he’s a boy. So what? I’m going to hold his hand and kiss him.” Another part of me was scared shitless of what the other kids were going to say and do once they saw us together. But really all I cared about was how happy Louis was. And he was beaming. Honestly, his happiness was all that mattered – screw everyone else.

People looked at out linked hands and some whispered behind their lockers. But no one came out and said anything to either of us. Even when I was alone in class, no one said anything. Yes, there were some confused looks and a couple whispers, but not a single word spoken out loud.

That was until Louis and I went to drama. That’s when everything changed.

I met Louis at his locker so we could walk in to class together – fingers intertwined. I asked him how his day was going on the walk over. He quickly told me it was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, except he missed me and my pouty lips. Upon which, I kissed him with said lips, eliciting a surprised giggle from him. I didn’t think I would ever get over that giggle and how damn cute he was. Cute in an “I want to rip all your clothes off” type of way. Reading my mind (or my body language), Louis cleared his throat.

“Later dirty boy.” He laughed, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“Promise?” I asked, cocking a brow, pulling him into my arms.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been dying to get my hands on you all day.” He practically moaned.

“Mmmm…sounds like we’ve got a date then.” I murmured into his ear, playfully licking the lobe.

“Harry, not here.” Louis unconvincingly begged.

“Ok, ok. Later.” I agreed, letting him go.

I was just about to open the door when Louis asked me to hold on. He turned his back to me, attempting to hide what he did next. But I could still see him snake a hand down his pants to try to rearrange himself. I didn’t realize how excited I had gotten him. I inwardly chucked. Setting my chin on his shoulder, I placed my mouth to his ear.

“I’m sorry. Did I do that?” I breathily asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

Louis took a shaky breath.

“Yes, you did. And I know you’re not sorry. So don’t even pretend.” He mockingly reprimanded.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you later, baby.” I promised giving his neck a kiss.

When he was satisfied with the situation in his pants, I gave him one more kiss before taking his hand in mine and opening the door.

♥

When I opened the door, all eyes were on us, all zeroing in on our interlaced fingers.

“Oh my god!” A girl squealed. It sounded suspiciously like Jessa.

Layla stood up and clasped her hands together with a huge grin on her face. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her look happier.

After the initial shock of seeing us together wore off, everyone started talking at once. Some with each other, some trying to talk to us.

Louis and I attempted to make our way to sit down but a group of girls, including Layla, surrounded us.

“So are you two together?” Jessa asked excitedly.

Louis looked to me, wanting me to answer the question. He would answer “yes” in a heartbeat. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and drew him close to me.

“Yes, we are.” I said, smiling down at Louis, who had a look of pure joy plastered on his beautiful face.

“Oh my god! You guys are so cute!” One of the girls said.

“They really are.” Layla agreed.

Once Layla spoke, a few eyes traveled from her to me back to her, including Louis’, an unspoken question in the air.

“What?” Layla asked picking up on the sudden tension. “Oh yeah, Harry and I have just been friends for a while now. Louis and him are much more compatible. They are, like, made for each other.” She explained, her words filled with nothing but sincerity.

I felt Louis let out a breath I didn’t know he had been holding. Then it hit me I had never explained the whole Layla situation to him. I made a mental note to remember to tell him later. I rubbed a comforting circle into his lower back, feeling him relax further into my touch.

The girls asked a few more questions. When did we get together? Were we officially boyfriends? I let Louis answer their questions, as I wasn’t sure how he would want them answered.

As Louis talked, I was captivated by the way his whole being lit up. He spoke animatedly, his hands expressing his emotions. It took everything in me not to pull him close and crash my lips into his. Later, I reminded myself. We had all the time in the world.

While Louis excitedly chatted away, Layla came up to me and pulled me aside. Before leaving, I gave Louis a kiss on the cheek, earning a squeal of delight from the girls and a look of adoration from Louis.

Layla and I made our way over to a quiet corner so we could talk uninterrupted. I could tell she had a million questions to ask. Before we sat down, she pulled me into a quick hug.

“I am so happy for you, Harry. And I am also really proud of you too.” She told me with a huge smile.

“Thanks Layla.”

“So, you two are together?”

I nodded.

“As in boyfriends together?”

I nodded again.

“And how do you feel?” She asked.

“I feel great. I love seeing Louis so happy. And it feels so natural being with him – he makes me so happy. Honestly, I thought today would be a lot harder than it has been. No one has said anything. I mean there has been whispering. And everyone in here seems so happy about it. It’s kind of strange.” I confessed.

“Harry, I have something to tell you. I was never going to tell you when we were together, and I was contemplating telling you in New York. But it didn’t seem right. So I’m just going to tell you now.”

She paused.

“Ok, spill it. You’re killing me here!” I told her.

“Harry, people thought you were gay before today.” She confessed quickly.

“What? But I was with you.” I was so confused.

“They thought even before you and I were together. I remember hearing the rumors. I never really believed them. Then you and I got together. And, well, things were less than stellar – so it was always in the back of my mind. Then Louis happened. I just wanted you to know because I guess everything with Louis isn’t that much of a shock to people.” She explained.

I stared at her dumfounded.

“Harry, are you ok?” Layla asked me worriedly.

“So you’re saying everyone knew I was gay before I did?”

“Basically.” She said with a small chuckle.

“I suppose I should be relieved then. Why bother coming out when everyone already knows I’m gay?” I laughed, trying to find the humor in the situation.

“Are you sure you’re ok, Harry?” She asked again.

“I’m brilliant. Now if only my parents thought I was gay. That would make things that much easier.” I said with a small smile.

“They will love you nonetheless. You’re still you, just a little more fabulous.” She giggled.

“Oh shut up!” I scoffed giving her a playful push.

♥

_**Louis** _

Harry walked over to me after he was done speaking to Layla . He looked light hearted, but I could see something dark hidden in his eyes. Sitting down next to me, he drew me into his chest, my back pressed closely against him. I relaxed into the embrace, letting his warmth surround me. I turned my head so I could meet his eyes.

“Everything ok, babe?” I smiled at the new nickname.

“Everything is wonderful.” He replied, giving the tip of my nose a sweet kiss.

But I wasn’t convinced. Before I could press him any further, Mr. Simpson decided it was the perfect time to begin class. I quietly grumbled with irritation. I could feel Harry shake behind me from laughter at my antics. Sighing and leaning closer to him, I was glad he found me amusing.

♥

“That was the longest class ever.” I moaned, once drama was finally over.

Harry laughed and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes in order to give him a kiss. I had been dying to kiss those lips for the last hour.

“That’s just because you were waiting for the second you could get your hands on me.” He laughed, giving my bum a quick squeeze.

“Why, Harry, I do believe you are able to read my mind now.” I said drawing his ear to my mouth. “Because that is exactly what I was thinking. Now are you going to take me home or what?”

He swallowed thickly and took my hand in his.

“Home.” Was all he said before he ran off towards his car with me holding onto his hand, doing my best to keep up.

We made it to his house in no time and before I knew it I was being pressed up against Harry’s bedroom door – his lips against my neck.

“I’ve wanted you for so long.” He murmured against my flushed skin.

I ran my fingers through his curls, massing his scalp – pulling him closer to me.

“Well, now you have me. I’m yours.” I panted, as he gathered my shirt and pulled it over my head.

With a new found hunger, he attacked my collarbone, making me cry out in pleasure, my hips bucking, seeking friction.

“I need you, Harry.” I moaned, eerily reminding myself of my dream – but this wasn’t a dream. This was reality.

Harry gracefully dropped to his knees and placed his hands at the waist of my jeans. He was just about to undo the zip when he faltered. He looked up at me with anxious eyes.

“What is it, baby?” I asked, stroking his cheek.

“I’ve never done this before, Lou. What if I’m awful? I want to be good for you.” He explained, voice low.

“That’s impossible. It’s you, so of course it’s going to be perfect.” I assured, meaning every word.

With a smirk, Harry reached his hands up again and pulled my jeans and boxers down. He let out a gasp when my cock sprung free.

“You’re so big, Lou.” He swallowed. “You look delicious.”

Tentatively, he wrapped his hand around my shaft and began to pump. I let out a moan at the contact.

“You feel so good, Harry.” I encouraged.

His eyes never leaving mine, Harry licked along the vein on the underside of my cock to the slit at the tip, dipping his tongue in to lap up the precome that was pooling there. We both let out heady moans – Harry at the taste and me at how fucking good his tongue felt. Soon he had wrapped his pouty lips around my cock and was bobbing away like he had sucked cock a thousand times before. I threaded my fingers in his curls and gave them a soft tug to let him know how good he was doing. Harry moaned at this, sending vibrations through my cock and down my entire body. My knees went weak. I had to hold onto the door to keep from falling over.

Harry ran his hands up my legs and stopped at my hips, digging his thumbs into my bones, no doubt leaving bruises. With a particularly loud moan, Harry pulled off with an obscenely loud pop and looked up – cheeks flushed, eyes glossy.

“Does that feel good, baby?” He asked, licking his swollen lips.

“You have no fucking idea.” I breathed.

“Well, give me one.” He said, getting to his feet.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and drew his body close to mine – slowly kissing the base of his neck. I worked my way up until I was just below his ear.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good.” I murmured, feeling him shutter beneath me.

I pressed my lips to his, hungrily devouring his moans. I rolled my hips into his, feeling his erection against my hip. I slowly backed him up until we reached his bed where I softly pushed him. He felt back with a laugh. I quickly pulled his shirt off and trailed sloppy kisses down his chest – stopping at each nipple to give them a playful lick. Just as I was about to pull his pants off, he stilled my hands with his, drawing my eyes to meet his.

“Take me, Lou.” He said, eyes blown with lust.

“Are you sure?”

“I have never been more sure of anything. I love you, Louis.” He told me, biting his bottom lip, unsure of how I would respond.

“I love you, too, Harry.” I breathed, heart pounding as a crawled up his body to slam my lips against his in a passionate kiss, a kiss conveying all that we felt – love, lust, want, and need.

Breaking our kiss, I slowly trailed wet kisses down his trembling body, pausing at his pants only to pull them off quickly letting his heavy cock spring free. It was a glorious sight to behold – long, thick, and leaking with precome. I wrapped my lips around the tip, dipping my tongue in his slit to lap up the deliciously salty liquid. Harry shivered and moaned beneath me. I could tell he was already close, but I didn’t want him to come like this. So I pulled off and lazily stroked his cock.

“You taste so good, baby. Could suck you of all day, but I got a better idea in mind.” I purred, as I spread his legs and knelt between them.

Keeping my eyes on his, I stuck two fingers in my mouth and began to suck. Harry licked his lips in anticipation. Once I felt my fingers were thoroughly coated, I trailed them down his crack and teasingly began to push at his entrance.

“Let me know if you want me to stop.” I told him, for fear of hurting him.

He merely nodded, eyes closed in concentration. I took this as the perfect opportunity to dip my head, spread his cheeks, and lap my tongue out, licking a long, wet stripe against his fluttering ring of muscles. Harry let out a noise that was half surprised gasp, half throaty moan. That was all the encouragement I needed, so I began to lick away. I brought my index finger up next to my tongue and pushed in slowly. Harry simply became a moaning, writhing mess beneath my tongue.

After a few pumps with one finger, I added a second – stretching him further. On the drag out, I curled my fingers up, causing Harry’s back to arch off the mattress and scream out in pure ecstasy.

 

“Fuck, Lou! That feels so good. Don’t stop!” He begged, fingers knotting into the sheets.

At this, I pulled my mouth away to make room for a third finger, pushing it in alongside the other. I fucked Harry like this for a while, making sure to hit his prostate every time. Just when I thought he was about the come, he reached between his legs and stopped my hand.

“Fuck me, Lou. Fuck me now.” He panted.

♥

_**Harry** _

It felt so fucking good. Louis’ fingers felt so damn good inside me. But I wanted more. I needed to feel him inside me, needed to feel him on top of me, to feel his body moving with mine.

I reached my hand down to stop his.

“Fuck me, Lou. Fuck me now.” I begged.

Louis immediately pulled his fingers out of me. I whined at the loss. I could feel myself clenching around the emptiness - missing him already. Louis shuffled between my legs and stroked his cock.

God, he looked beautiful. And he was all mine.

“Do you have any lube?” He asked, still stroking his prefect cock a bead of precome glistening on the tip.

I blindly reached into the drawer in my nightstand, not wanting to take my eyes off of him. Once I grabbed the bottle, I tossed it to him. He flicked the cap open and squeezed a liberal amount on his palm before throwing the bottle to the floor. He then resumed stroking his cock – biting his lip and letting out a low moan. I had to have him now.

“Need you, Lou.” I moaned.

With a smile, he leaned over me, one hand by my head and one still on his cock.

“Shh, baby, I’m gonna take care of you.” He murmured as the tip of his cock pushed inside of me.

It was an intense mixture of pain and pleasure as Louis slowly pushed his way into me. His cock was definitely bigger than his fingers had been. The stretch of it felt like it was ripping me apart, but I liked the burn. It was marking me as Louis’ – always and forever. Once he had bottomed out, his hips flush against my arse, he stilled, giving me time to adjust. I could tell by the strained look on his face that it was a struggle not to just fuck into over and over again.

I reached a hand up and swept the hair that had fallen into his face off to the side.

“I love you, Louis.” I vowed, meaning it with every fiber of my being.

At my words, his face relaxed but his dick twitched deep within me.

“I love you, too, Harry. So much.” He smiled down at me before sweetly pressing his lips to mine.

The tenderness of the moment almost made me want to cry, but my aching cock brought me back to the situation at hand. I was ready, so I wrapped my long legs around Louis’ waist and told him to move. He slowly began to roll his hips. The drag of his cock deep within in me feeling so damn good. Louis peppered my neck with kisses, causing my eyes to roll with the pleasure of it all.

“Fuck, Harry, you feel so good.” Louis murmured against my skin as his quickened his thrusts.

Wrapping my legs tighter around his waist, the angle of my hips shifted. On Louis’ next thrust, I saw stars – my voice giving way to a silent scream of pure pleasure.

“Fuck, baby! Right there! Don’t ever stop!” I yelled, as my nailed clawed down his back.

I may have drawn blood with how hard I was scratching, but at that moment, neither of us cared. It felt so fucking good.

Louis continued fucking into me, hitting that spot over and over again. I could feel tears running down my cheeks as I moaned out – words escaping me. I had never experienced pleasure like this before. At that moment, thoughts of Louis in the hotel grinding his hips against the mattress as he told me what sex felt like, flashed through my mind – “It’s like “I think I might die this feels so good” amazing. Like toe curling, heart stopping, breathtaking amazing.”

That was how this felt, how sex with Louis felt. I was finally experiencing what sex was meant to feel like – mind boggling, pure ecstasy sex. With that thought, I felt my toes begin to curl and my stomach tighten.

“I-I’m gonna come!” I moaned.

“Come for me, baby. Want you to.” Louis coaxed as he relentlessly fucked into me.

With a body wrecking spasm, I came – Louis’ name leaving my lips like a prayer LouisLouisLouis, ribbons of white painting our stomachs. As I came down from my high, I slowly ran my hand down Louis’ spine and kissed his chest.

“I want you to come.” I murmured.

As the last word left my mouth, Louis let out a growl of my name and came deep within me – his body trembling on top of mine. His thrusts slowed as his came down from his orgasm. He softly kissed my lips as he pulled his softening cock out of me. I instantly missed the feeling of having him inside me.

Louis collapsed on the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms, my head resting on his chest. We laid like that for a while – both of us catching our breaths and me listening to Louis’ heart beat as I traced lazy circled on his chest.

“So that’s what sex is supposed to feel like?” I mused, breaking the silence.

I could feel Louis chuckle beneath me.

“I imagine that’s what sex feels like when you’re in love. Though I’m not sure since that was my first time. But it was the best sex of my life.” He told me.

“Really?” I asked, propping my head up to look him in the eyes.

“Really, and I can’t wait to do it again.” He smiled.

“Me too. I love you.” I said, kissing his lips.

“And I love you, Harry.”

♥


	15. Epilogue

Harry and Louis made it through their senior year without a hitch. Louis’ mum had been ecstatic to hear the news about Harry. She welcomed the boy into the family like a son.

Harry had come out to his parents, and they didn’t act quite how he expected them too. Yes, they were shocked, his father more so.  But they were accepting and loving, nonetheless. A few days later, Harry introduced Louis to the family. His mother becoming instantly smitten with the boy, and he was allowed over whenever he pleased.

The boys ran into little trouble at school. Their friends quickly accepted them as a couple, and no one thought twice about Harry being gay. Layla loved to rub this in his face, reminding him what an idiot he had been for thinking he had to hide who he was. The punk who shoved Louis in the hall tried to give them trouble, but Harry simply reminded him of the black eye he had previously given him. And the boy left them alone.

After graduation, both boys packed up and moved to New York City after a tearful goodbye with their families. They had both been accepted at NYU, with Louis getting into the prestigious Tisch School of Arts. They opted to rent their own little apartment rather than live on campus to insure their privacy. Their nights consisted of study sessions and sex lessons. And every day the boys fell further in love – learning the little things about one another.

After college, Louis landed a minor role in a Broadway musical, and Harry found his path in playwriting. With the money they made, the boys were able to purchase a well-loved brownstone in the city, and quickly made it their home.

At age 25, Harry and Louis exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony surrounded by friends and family in Central Park. In the city were their story began, all those years ago.

♥

 

 

 

 

 


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